Posted in Cosmopolitan, DOUX, Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, The Liaison Collaborative

I’d like to tell you

I’d like to tell you that my sky’s not blue, it’s violent rain
And in my world, the people on the street don’t know my name
In my world, I’m seven feet tall
And the boys always call, and the girls do too
Because in my world, I’m constantly, constantly havin’ a breakthrough (Hmm)
Or a breakdown, or a blackout
Would you make out with me underneath the shelter of the balcony?

‘Cause I don’t need anyone
I don’t need anyone
I just need everyone and then some
~ Halsey – Clementine

doux bs lp zk

hair: DOUX – Alana hairstyle @ Dubai
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.2
eyes:  [Heaux] Piper Eyes @ Anthem
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [Glam Affair]  LIllian Skin [ Lelutka ] @ Uber

-:zk:- Little Liars Sunglasses @ TLC
Rebel Gal – Charm Necklace
Blossom&Seeds Charlie @ Cosmopolitan

pose: Le Poppycock *Watercolours* @ TLC
**includes boom box & cigarette**

 

Posted in Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Reign, Second Life, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL

I feel it everywhere

Oh my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above
Are sizzlin’ like a snare
Honey I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothin’ scares me anymore
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That baby, you the best
I got that summertime, summertime sadness
Su-su-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness oh oh
~ Lana Del Rey – Summertime Sadness

Wasabi JB Reign Diversion

Sady is wearing:
hair: Wasabi // Maite Mesh Hair @ Uber
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1
body:  [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe @ Uber

:zk:– Deborah Necklace @ The Liaison Collaborative
*Just BECAUSE* Diana Dress @ FaMESHed
REIGN.- JACLYN HEELS

Diversion – Humble – Poses

 

Posted in breathe, Catwa, Events, Exploration, Fashion, GingerFish, Glam Affair, Second Life, The Liaison Collaborative

It’s behind us

We’ve all had someone do something awful to us at some point in our lives. Whether it was something massively tragic like child abuse, being attacked, or simply betrayed by someone we believed loved us more than they did. No matter the degree or the nature of the pain, the bottom line is that someone hurt us. As humans (though some of us are more cat like) we instinctively want to know why. We want our pain to be acknowledged by the perpetrator. And last but not least, we want retribution.
I learned a lesson about “why” when I was a kid. My father had this awesome friend, Randy. I absolutely adored him and he was always making me laugh. I remember he came over one day and began saying that WHY was irrelevant. He started breaking down all my why questions. Why is the sky blue? “Drop the why and you simply have a fact. It doesn’t matter why. The point is that it IS.” Is the sky blue? Yes. Why do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Yes. He taught me early on that unless there was something to be gained from knowing why, there was no point in asking. So, I ask you…why did someone hurt me? Did someone hurt me? Yes. Knowing why serves no real purpose. Its not going to help me heal. It’s not going to change what happened. It’s not going to do anything, except make me ask more useless questions. I’m not an FBI profiler, I’m not going to get to the bottom of what makes a monster tick. It is simply for curiosity’s sake that I want to know why. It is not going to lesson my pain one bit.
Why do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? Well, I just talked about why questions. So, the real question is do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? No. We know what they did. The only reason we should NEED an admission of guilt is if we feel as though people do not believe us. Even then, we know what happened and whether admitted or not, the perpetrator knows. As far as the rest of the world, it only matters if there are criminal charges in question. Which leads me to the retribution part. We all want to feel vindicated. We trust in the laws of our government, our religions, karma, etc. However, the truth is that many people will never pay for their bad deeds. EVER. For us to walk around holding onto some sort of resentment waiting for them to pay the price? Well, that’s a bit like walking around with stones in our pockets for absolutely no reason except to be reminded that we’re carrying around these heavy rocks just to be reminded that we’re being fools for carrying around heavy rocks.
At the very end of it all, the only thing we can change in all of this is how we go forward. Regardless of why or acknowledgment or even retribution, we can choose to carry those stones in our pockets punishing ourselves for what someone else did. OR we can empty our pockets and walk away with our heads held high knowing that whatever happened is in our past. It’s behind us…so without looking back, just bend over a bit, smack yourself on the butt and tell all that crap to kiss to your ass!

tlc theme

hair:  [KoKoLoReS] Hair Runa @ The Liaison Collaborative
head: CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2
eyes: Izzie’s – Cyberlogic Eyes @ The Liaison Collaborative
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria Applier
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
tattoo: IDTTY Body Shop – Feline Gaze
=Zenith=Buckle Gloves
Ascendant – Taffy Nails @ Access
:zk:– Maetel Armor @ The Liaison Collaborative
[BREATHE]-Kendra Heels

pose: GingerFish Poses – Outrun @ The Liaison Collaborative
location: Hangars Liquides

Posted in Cynful, Fashion, Glam Affair, Maitreya, pr!tty, Q-Poses, Second Life

I can relax

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can relax. I’ve cut way back on my blogging responsibilities. I’m dating a wonderful man that I’ve known for years. I love all my jobs in Second Life. I have enough on my plate to keep my busy, but not so much that I feel overwhelmed. I can take time to enjoy myself without worrying about getting behind. I can take time away from Second Life without worrying too much about not being available 24/7.
I am still battling my demons and my depression, but having Second Life running smoothly for the most part really helps. I have a therapy appointment in a few days. I get anxiety about leaving the house, but knowing that I’m going to see her helps. I just really hate leaving the house and going into the unknown. That takes all the courage and strength I can must at times. It’s really strange that I’ve become so introverted, because once upon a time I was the life of the party. I’m not exactly sure when that light inside me started to dim, but it seems to be out now. Once in a blue moon, I can get it relit, but its as if I’m trying to keep a candle lit in a high wind. It doesn’t stay lit for long.
Since, I’ve finally got one corner of my life in check, I’m hoping that I can work on the other corners while maintaining the ones I’ve already got sorted. Yes, you heard it here, I have…*sighs*…hope.

cynful piercings

head: Catwa Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Alexa @ Uber

pr!tty – Lemonade
Cynful Mina Piercing – Arms
Cynful Mina Piercing – Collarbone
Cynful Mina Piercing – Belly
Cynful Mina Piercing – Hips
-:zk:- Sunny Bikini

pose: {QP} – Breaking Waves – Female

Posted in Catwa, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Foxcity, Lamb, Maitreya, Second Life, shopping

Your strength is in your weakness

Every so often I fall back on the lyrics of a song, because so often they reflect what I’m feeling. Also, because sometimes what I’m feeling is just too painful and deeply personal to write about or I’m simply not ready.

“It finds you in a cold room
A silhouette against the wall
Lit up by the white moon
We’ll outrun the awaking dawn

You can see the faces
But you don’t know their thoughts
You can feel the traces
From the chalk lines on my heart

There’s something in the shadows
Cuts you like an arrow
Shifting through the dark
Your strength is in your weakness
There’s fire in your blood
Hanging from that hope
But everybody knows
There’s something in the shadows”
Amy Stroup -In The Shadows

Your strength is in your weakness

wearing:
hair:  Lamb. Stellar  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

.miss chelsea. Niki Headphones Silver
-:zk:- Joy (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: FOXCITY. Soulfood Bento Pose Set

***If you are reading this on any site that suggests this post was originally published anywhere but SadyStyle by anyone other than Sadystika Sabretooth, you are reading a stolen post.

Posted in Bueno, Catwa, Collabor88, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Gingerfish Poses, Kustom9, Landscaping, Maitreya, Mina Hair, Pose Fair, Second Life, shoes, shopping, ULTRA, {what next}

Suicide Test

My real life is a freaking mess and certainly not what I had hoped it would be by my age. However, if I don’t give thanks for the little things, I simply wouldn’t be able to pull myself from the edge of suicide. It sounds severe and dramatic, but I assure you that its something I think about regularly. AND from the age of 12 until I was 22, I was attempted it regularly. Clearly, I failed at that like so many things in my life. It was my last attempt that changed everything. I was lying in the ICU, barely conscious when I had an epiphany for what I now call my Suicide Test. I have yet to pass this test, therefore, I have not been able to attempt suicide again since.
It’s quite simple actually. It’s a 30 day test, so patience is key, but if you’re planning to die, what’s 30 more days, yeah? So, look at the clock. For me, its 9:19pm on Sept 19. Now, if I do not find a single moment of joy between now and 9:19pm on Oct 19th, I can proced with my suicide attempt. However, you have to understand the true nature of joy and what all that entails. That means you must want to die for every second of ever minute of every hour of every day for 30 days straight. That means you cannot enjoy a single moment of your life for even a second or the clock starts over. So, if a meme makes you laugh or even smile or silently chuckle. Clock restarts. You tasted something wonderful and thought to yourself how good that was? Clock restarts. You stepped in the shower and exhaled with relief as that hot water poured over you. Clock restarts.
You see, if you had killed yourself upon that first notion, you would have missed that simple moment of joy. If you would have missed something as simple as a cluster of butterflies dancing over your head, then you surely would have missed the smile you bring to other people’s faces. And let’s face it, no matter how awful you think your life is…you make someone smile and someone loves you.

rumors

wearing:
hair:  MINA – Karen (*new* for Go by FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Amber (*new* @ C88)

BONDI . The Gentleman Sunglasses . (*new* @ ManCave)
:zk:– Ashlee Suit (*new* @ ULTRA)
BUENO-Weekend Heels (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose:  GingerFish Pose – Moth set (*new* @ Pose Fair)

{what next} Waterfront Dock & Pier Set
Skye Windswept Tree Type

Posted in Catwa, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Maitreya, Second Life

…just some words i wrote

He called in sick, when I needed him most
He only saw a piece of the aftermath
And he called in sick
What could I do?
He wasn’t to mine to be true.
Be mad? Nah.
Why?
Is that what you would do?

zk & noir kinky event

wearing:
hair:  Sintiklia – Hair Xia
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Dee

:::NOIR::: Marie Bracelets (*new* @ Kinky)
Ascendant – Nude Bento Nails (*new* @ Kinky)
-:zk:- Tania Top (*new* @ Kinky)
-:zk:- Tania Shorts (*new* @ Kinky)

pose: FOXCITY. What Gives Bento Pose Set
Paparazzi – Pose Hallway – AMBER

Posted in Catwa, Collabor88, E.V.E, Events, Gingerfish Poses, Second Life, Vanity Event, We <3 Role-Play

On the Hunt

I could not have chosen a better song or written better words to go with this photo. I also doubt that many of my readers have heard it. So, please enjoy. ♥

Neo Noir & Krigare’ – On the Hunt

As the stars at night are falling
Like the torches in the dark
Marching with conviction
On the move and on the mark
Hear the howls in the distance
Chased the wolves they tried to run
Ooooh on the hunt

Finger on the trigger
Taste the fear that’s in the air
Silence breeds the tension
Haunted unaware
Chasing down the demons
Hear the beating of a drum
Ooooh on the hunt
Ooooh on the hunt

The past is left in ruins
Feel the pain and see the scars
The path of burning bridges
Feel the stone of a broken heart
Insatiable desire and it’s only just begun
Ooooh on the hunt
Ooooh on the hunt

on the hunt

wearing:
hair:  Tableau Vivant // Abbie hair (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
eyes: LOTUS. Balance Eyes 17 (Catwa) RARE (*new* @ Vanity Event)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [PUMEC] – Alexa – / May \ – SKIN (*new* @ Vanity Event)

-:zk:- Squaw Gacha (*new* @ Vanity Event)
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Belt Lara
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Hair Jewel
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Lance HAND L
–:zk:- #1 Squaw Necklace LARA
–:zk:- #6 Squaw Top Lara Black
–:zk:- #14 Squaw Skirt Lara Black
–:zk:- #22 Squaw Sleeve Lara Left Black
–:zk:- #22 Squaw Sleeve Lara Right Black
–:zk:- #30 Squaw Legs Lara Black
–:zk:- #38 Squaw Shoes Lara Black

E.V.E {B-Team} Tears Suit [MAI] (*new* @ We ❤ Role-Play)

::GB::Black Panther B  (*new* @ Arcade)

pose: GingerFish Poses – One Shot