Posted in Bondi, CandyDoll, Catwa, Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Maitreya, Second Life, shopping

Secrets

No one likes to be lied to or betrayed. However, there are those that thrive on doing just that to other people. And then there are those that are just careless. The problem isn’t really intent as much as it is actions. We’re all guilty of telling something we shouldn’t have or for accidentally letting something slip. It really sucks when we’re betrayed like that, but so goes life. We can stay mad about it or we can learn from it. Yes, it sucks to realize that you can’t trust someone with a secret anymore, but that’s no reason to throw a friendship away. It just means we need to watch what we say more carefully. Odds are, if it was that big of a secret…we probably shouldn’t have been talking about it in the first place. Afterall, two can keep a secret if one of us is dead.

bondi candydoll

head: Catwa Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Maria

Wasabi // Venere Mesh Hair @ Hair Fair
BONDI . The Autumn Sunglasses @ Whimsical
_CandyDoll_ Darby Lingerie @ Belle

pose made with AnyPose

Posted in Avenge, Catwa, Chic Moda, Collabor88, Events, Fashion, Second Life, Tres Chic

I Tried

When I tell someone that I don’t believe I have a true love or that you no longer have a heart to give, they immediately feel sorry for me. They want to save me and convince m that there is a true love out there for me somewhere.  Meanwhile, I have a man telling me that anyone would be a fool not to love me, but does he? How could he when he is with another? I have tried to believe that there is something special out there for me, but I’ve surrendered to my fate. I know now that my place is in the shadows. I know that my place is a secret hideaway, for it in the dark that the truth hides. Whatever there is about me that people find so lovable, there must be something equally wretched that sends them away. And that’s ok. I know now that I tried. That is not my life. Love has eluded me repeatedly and now? I’m done. I tried.

I tried
Sometimes I feel that I am what I deserve
A hundred crimes, no way to pay them off
So when quiet fills the night and you hurt
Know I am sorry for all that you lost

wearing:
hair: no.match_ ~ NO_WONDERLAND (*new* @ Enchantment)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Shiny Ears
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Katy (Catwa Applier) toffee (*new* @ C88)
brows: –SU!- Blair Eyebrows +CATWA APPLIER

[Avenge] Universe necklace (long) (*new* @ TresChic)
[Avenge] Universe earring (*new @ TresChic)
ChicModa&e.marie // Knot Dress (*new* @ Whimsical)

pose by Del May
Paparazzi – Slum Riverside – BACKDROP – green (*new* @ Limit8)

Posted in CandyDoll, Catwa, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Maitreya, REWIND, Second Life, Tres Chic, unKindness

I Need Noise

So, if there’s one thing I hate in life…its a fucking liar. I understand that we all tell white lies…”You look great!”…”No, those pants don’t make your ass look huge.”…”Sure, I’d love to help you clean the house.” I’m not talking about that little shit. I’m talking about the big shit. Naturally, I’ve talked about how if someone lies about the little stuff, they’re bound to lie about the big stuff. The real rub is when you find out the truth. If you’re going to tell a big ass lie…then lie til you die, muthafucka! Cuz I’ve had enough lies to last me a fucking lifetime and I don’t need anymore. So, if you’re one of those perpetual liars that doesn’t “mean” to lie or things tend to “just happen” to you frequently….then not only are you lying to those around you…you’re lying to yourself. So, take your lies and shove them up your ass….oh and do it way the fuck over there, cuz I’m not having it. Trust issues? Nah, I don’t have trust issues. I’ve just finally figured out that trust is as big a lie as love.
When I realize that I’ve been lied to by someone I thought I could trust? Wow, yeah, I need noise, because if I crawl too deep into my head with the ammunition, my demons are going to have a field day. Don’t worry, I won’t believe anything anyone tells me for a long while to come….so once I get through this shit, I won’t worry about being lied to, cuz I’ve finally seen the light.

bitch in chains
I don’t have an agenda
All I do is pretend to be ok so my friends
Can’t see my heart in the blender
Lately, I’ve been killing all my time
Reading through your messages my favorite way to die
Take my head and kick it in
Break some bread for all my sins
Say a word, do it soon
It’s too quiet in this room
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need noise
I need the buzz of a sub
Need the crack of a whip
Need some blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut
I need blood in the cut

wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Kimiko (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery] Saska (Catwa Applier) honey (*new* @ REWIND)
lipstick: –SU!– Jezebel Lip Gloss
tattoo: [ATI] Helen…
11. :BAMSE: Personal Choker – Bitch (*new* @ Whimsical)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Top (*new* Mainstore)
_CandyDoll_ Nina Pants (*new* Mainstore)

pose: FOXCITY. Lolita Bento Pose Set

scene:
uK – With These Chains Photobox
E.V.E {Chained to You} Chains Silver (T)

Posted in 4Mesh, Chic Moda, Events, Exploration, Fashion, Second Life, shopping

A New Place

Today we’re taking a teensy little field trip! C’mon, let’s go to Picturerotica! That’s right, you read that correctly and if you click the name below, you’ll get the slurl! This is a brand new sim that just had their grand opening on November 17! Here’s the land description: An adult play sim dedicated to providing a picture perfect setting for all of your romantic and erotic experiences. 18+ 

Now, I warn you to use caution when sitting on anything, because as Nakari has said, ” If you can sit on it you can cum on it.” Now, don’t get your pretty little mesh panties twisted, unless you’re into that. Yes, you can have sex in the open here. Yes, you can get naked. But let me tell you, this place has been landscaped to the nines. It is gorgeous! They have events like Furry night (no its not specifically a furry sim, all are welcome) and live music, as well as DJs.  There is also a group fee, so if you’re aiming to take photos and need to rez a stand or anything, you’ll need to join the group for L$150, just make sure you pick up after yourself, yeah?

new places

wearing:
hair:  Beusy: Antares Hair / Becrux Gacha / (November PocketGacha)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Slipper – Laura Bento Rings (*new* @ 4Mesh)
ChicModa // Kim // Full Set (*new* @ Whimsical)

pose: Foxcity Hightlights Vol2 Set
location: Picturerotica

Posted in Events, Fashion, Kustom9, ON9, Phedora, Second Life, Self Reflection, shoes, shopping, {le fil casse}

Do Not Be Afraid

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
― Plato

Wow, it has been quite a while since I started post with a quote. Of course, one is never quite sure what they will find when they go to read my blog. Perhaps a song, a story, a poem, a rant, or like today… some thoughts with a hopefully a sprinkle of wisdom. This particular quote hits home, because I look back at my life and see exactly where fear of success derailed my life over and over again. Failure? Nah, I’m good at that. My entire childhood was an education on how I would never be good enough for more than pleasing a man. My mother taught me to surrender to a man’s will. She was old fashioned and believed in standing by even the most monstrous of men. She preferred the comfort of denial that lies created for her. Looking back, I can see so clearly that she’s never been a fan of truth. Even the simplest of stories are exaggerated for no other reason that her apparent allergy to honesty. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I’d be lost without her, but that doesn’t make her perfect.  My father on the other hand, perversely manipulative and abusive in every sense of the word. Though he told me repeatedly I’d be a whore and a slut in high school, I rarely dated at all and did not lose my virginity until I was 19. Years later when I proudly told him that he was wrong and how I had waited, he smirked and said that was his plan all along. For he knew I was defiant by nature and would prove him wrong. I know now, that was simply more of his manipulation. I think fewer things brought him more joy than messing with my head.

You may be wondering, what all of this has to do with the quote. It’s simple really. If we are taught to fear everything…if we are sheltered from the truth…fear will easily control our life and limit us in ways we never imagined until it is genuinely too late. Living behind a closed door or in the shadows can be so comforting. We cannot get burned by a light we never see, but the truth is in the light. Until we release ourselves from the shadows of fears, both real and imagined, we can never be free. For it is the truth that sets us free and that truth does not hide in the dark, it is us that choose to stay in the dark.

I have often said that I would rather be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie. The older I get the more I stand by that statement. Do not be afraid of the light just because you outgrew your fear of the dark.

behind the door

wearing:
hair:  [RA] Sherazade Hair (*new* @ Enchantment)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara

{le fil casse}  Madison Dress (*new* @ Whimsical)
Phedora ~Zaidee Platforms (*new* @ Kustom9)

pose: FOXCITY. Cute But Psycho Bento Pose Set (*new* @ ON9)
**slightly edited with AnyPose
taikou / dusk backdrop with materials (*new* @ Kustom9)