Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, fri.day, Home Decor, ON9, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping, unKindness

Home

“I know if I can find my own way back
There’s a life I always knew but never had
I’m tired of fighting things that I can’t change
Letting me go so I can finally find my place”
Sigma & Rita Ora – Coming Home

home2

Yesterday, I wrote about having the ground beneath our feet to catch us when we fall, but I didn’t mean that in such a literal sense. That ground is my foundation. My circle of friends…my family…my home…that place that I can always go back to no matter what happens to me on this grand adventure of a life. When I’m tired and beat down, I can go home and know that I am safe…I am grounded…and there is no other place quite like it. To my home…my people…I love each of you and I can’t thank you enough. I might be flying high and free at the moment, but I haven’t forgotten that you all are there and without you I wouldn’t be here now. I love you all so much. Part of me wants to list you all, but you know my squirrelly little memory will leave someone out, so I’ll do some general shouts out that you’ll hopefully understand…Home really is where the heart is.

To my Cunts…I love you guys so freaking much and how you teach me to throw caution to the wind and say with glory, “McFUCKIT!” ♥
To my Lockjaw Family…my God, what a delightful group of amazing and talented misfits! You all rock! Don’t any of you forget that!♥
Need a better name for the Stoner’s group…but they know who they are…I hope. I love you bitches so damn much. Never stop being fabulous, please. We have all been through so much this past year, lets rule the world this year!♥
To all my friends, listed in a group or not…to the creators that support me, believe in me…you are all my home and I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you.

wearing
hair
: [monso] My Hair – Ruda  (*new* @ C88)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
eyeshadowIzzie’s – Catwa – Applier Dark Metallic Eyeshadow Hud
dimples: Izzie’s – Catwa Dimples Hud
lipstick: [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK Applier – Glossy Pout
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO

**RE** Simone Heart Collar
SPIRIT – Chill top [BLACK] (*new* @ C88)
fri. – Tillie Warmers (Coal) (*new* @ C88)

scene:
HPMD* Big Leaf – pale color
*alirium* DwarfForest [OldGold]
:: N :: Daffodil Box (*new* @ ON9)
uK – Solace Door Nook Blue (*new* @ C88)
uK – Solace Nook Hanging Lamp (*new* @ C88)
.:Bee Designs:. Tulips Gacha 11  (*new* @ ON9)
Ariskea & Unkindness[Solace] Seat 17 Anim [Singles] (*new* @ C88)
(fd) Cat – 02 Sleeping Curled
Ariskea & Unkindness [Solace] Iron table (*new* @ C88)
Ariskea & Unkindness  [Solace] Candle 4 (*new* @ C88)
Apple Fall Coffee & Muffin
Ariskea & Unkindness [Solace] Romarin Plant (*new* @ C88)
(fd) Cat – 11 Sitting

poses: Del May w/some editing on 2nd pic using FATE Hand Poser HUD & AnyPose

 

Posted in Collabor88, E.A.Studio, Events, Exploration, Fashion, Phedora, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping

Everything is Changing

“Everything is changing,
And I’ve been here for too long
Going through the same things
I’ve been hurting too long,
Got to move on
Say I-I-I-I can’t do this anymore
If everything is changing
And I know, yeah, you gotta let go”
Sigma ft Paloma Faith – Changing

dorothy phedora2

Life is full of change. Every single day something impacts us to alter the course of our day, our life…every little thing that happens to us impacts us on some level. Sometimes it takes us a while to figure out what is working and what isn’t. From there, we make conscious decisions to change. This is life, right? Even when the changes swirl around us in a way that we feel we’ve lost all control, we still have the ground beneath our feet. If we crumple…if we fall…the ground is there to catch us. Its all just a matter of how far we fall and how hard, isn’t it?

dorothy phedora1

Collabor88 has returned and delivered us with some “lazy & chill” themed items that are simply breathtaking. While a lot of people in SL don’t understand the concept of being comfortable in a virtual world, I do and I for one want nothing more than to be lazy & chill, in both my worlds. Its not always an options, but at least in SL..not only can I look lazy & chill, but I can look fierce while doing it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been that cute girl next door that looks adorable in her chillaxing clothes…I tend to look more like a homeless person. *laughs* While that is the theme, there’s nothing stopping you from grabbing some amazing threads and shoes to create you own look that isn’t lazy & chill at all. As soon as I saw the Andrea Jumpsuit from CandyDoll, I knew I had to have it and the Dorothy boots from Phedora are a perfect match, as both allow color options for the bow. To help you blend your look into a more cohesive one. I’m wishing you all a happy month of shopping and watch here for tons more goodies coming you way from across the grid.  ♥

wearing:
hair: [monso]  My Hair – Sungso
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
eyeshadowIzzie’s – Catwa – Applier Dark Metallic Eyeshadow Hud
dimples: Izzie’s – Catwa Dimples Hud
lipstick: [PF] CATWA LIPSTICK Applier – Glossy Pout
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO

**RE** Luxy Rings Set (*new* @ Chapter Four)

_CandyDoll_ Andrea Jumpsuit Black (*new* @ C88)
Phedora ~ Dorothy boots (*new* @ C88)

poses: an lar [poses]
location: Whole Wheat

Posted in Bueno, Events, Fashion, Phedora, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping, unKindness, We <3 Role-Play

Life is Messy Enough

Life is Messy Enough

Our real lives offer enough challenges. The fact that we can escape some of those challenges for even a few minutes or hours in SL, gives us an advantage that a lot of people don’t get to experience.  In Second Life, we can escape our health problems and physical limitations. We can avoid household chores and even people. So, why do so many come into SL and create a mess in a virtual world? Why do so many come here to sling mud, spread rumors, and toss about deep seeded judgmental rhetoric? Its simply pathetic.
I can only imagine that these people are so miserable in their real lives that they’ve somehow become convinced that by creating havoc here, somehow makes their real lives seem better. That somehow the fact that they’ve created such a mess in a virtual world that they somehow have developed power. Just theories, honestly, I cannot know. What I do know is that if you don’t want unnecessary drama and general messes in you SL, you definitely have power there. Cut out the toxic people, the toxic thoughts, and above all, keep your nose out of other people’s business. If they are not hurting YOU, then why do you care so much what your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend or ex bestie is doing now? It seems to me, you need to work on healing and letting go, rather than deflecting and holding onto resentments that do more harm to your spirit than anyone else’s.

life-is-messy-enough1

Why bother wasting precious energy on hate? No one is forcing you to be in SL, no one is forcing any of us to be here. No one is forcing romantic relationships or uncomfortable lifestyles on anyone. With options like block, mute, teleport, and signing out, there’s simply no excuse to come to SL and be miserable. I guess I’m a little tired of hearing everyone gripe about drama and politics and what they hate about SL. I’m more interested in the things I love, the things that I enjoy, the amazing friends I’ve made from every corner of the globe. Yes, I suppose I’m bitching a little bit about the miserable people, but I’ve brought my piece of mind to my blog and no one is being forced to read it. Hell, at least one person I know only looks at the picture, clicks like and moves on. I’m not sure he’s ever read a blog post in his life. *winks at Kess, cuz she knows him even better than I*

life-is-messy-enough2

So, now that I’ve shared a piece of my mind (no, I really can’t afford it, give it back), let me share with you some really nice goodies that are being delivered across the grid by some of SL’s top creators and designers. Have a look at the details below for the whats and wheres. I’m off to go do more things I love and I hope you will do the same. Afterall, shopping is one of my favorite SL hobbies…totally a hobby, right?

wearing:
hair: Lamb. Easy Easy (*new* @ Arcade)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
eyeshadowIzzie’s – Catwa – Applier Dark Metallic Eyeshadow Hud
lipstick: ::SG:: Gelly Lips for CATWA Heads ONLY!
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO

Astralia – Galaxy! (Nails) #1 RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
Phedora ~ Eva Bodysuit pack (*new* @ Whore Couture)

poses: KlubWerk Poses
scene:
BUENO-Quiet Skybox- RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO-Industry Bed- RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO-Big Sur Chair (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO- Headphones Pop Deco (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO-Skull Pop Deco (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO-Photo Printer-Pop (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO-Steel Stool Pop 1 (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO- Laptop Blessed (*new* @ Arcade)
uK – Steampunk Vase V1 Dark (*new* @ We<3 Role-Play)

Posted in Bueno, Cynful, Fashion, ON9, Phedora, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL

Bad Moon Rising

“I see a bad moon a-rising
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin’
I see bad times today”
Creedence Clearwater Revival Bad Moon Rising

bad-moon-rising1

Its no secret that I’m from the South and down here we’ve got a lot of superstitions. I’m not a superstitious person, but when you wake up from a nightmare about dead cats, big snakes, and really bad coffee…well, that first cup of coffee better be a good one. When its not…lets just say I’m hearing the whisperings of my  long dead grandmother in my ear as I try to salvage this coffee. Give the song a listen…let’s just say I’m a bit leery about this day already.
What I’m not leery about is the abundance of amazing items being created across the grid. If you can’t find something to wear, you aren’t looking hard enough, and let’s be honest, in SL? Yeah, you can walk around showing off your pretty lingerie like a Victoria Secrets model at promotional party. So, get your shop on…I, for one, will be putting on my fierce facade as I prepare for this ominous day!

wearing:
hair: *ARGRACE* KOHAKU
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
lipstick: -SU!- The Matte Lip Poison //Catwa BENTO//
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO
tattoo.::Nanika::. Spring is coming Black

*COCO*_WrapChoker(2)_Maitreya (*new* @ Uber)
**RE** Dark Queen Bracelets
[FORMANAILS] BALLERINA -2- NAILS FOR VISTA BENTO HAND Big Pack

[Cynful] Coax Lingerie (*new & exclusive* @ Whore Couture)
Phedora ~ Coax boots  (*new* @ Whore Couture)

poses: Bauhaus Movement
scene:
MINIMAL – Illusion Background *1* (*new* @ Uber)
BUENO Suitcase Loveseat – Moonrise (*new* @ Arcade)

Posted in Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, N21, Rebel Hope, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping, Uber SL

Smokin’ in the Boys Room

Okay, totally telling my age here, but when I was in the 7th grade, I started smoking. Save your lectures, I’m an adult now. You’re too late. Anyway, those of that did smoke, usually did it behind the store that was behind our school…before and after school, but on occasion the true rebels would sneak downstairs to the 6th grade boy’s bathroom, as no teachers ever went in there and it had a huge window that opened to the back of the school away from everything. The logistic were perfect for all sorts of “illegal” activities…of course, this meant any boys in the 6th grade had to hold it or go upstairs and brave the 7th graders bathroom.
A few years later, the song, “Smoking in the Boys Room” by Mötley Crüe was all the rage and a few of us from middle school were still friends and wished that the song had come out sooner. We wondered if people still smoked in the bathroom of our old stomping grounds. I know they don’t anymore as they tore the school down last year and a Walmart grew in its place.

smokin1

Uber and FaMESHed and Arcade…OH MY! So, many delightful events going on right now…make sure you’re shopping, cuz now is the time to spend spend spend…surely I’m not the only one doing that! Here are a few items from Uber and FaMESHed. Don’t mind Josh, he really had to go!

Sady is wearing:
hair: MINA – Indy  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
eyes: CATWA Mesh Eyes w/-SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Xenira Eyes ALL COLORS
eyeshadowIzzie’s – Catwa – Applier Dark Metallic Eyeshadow Hud
lipstick: -SU!- The Matte Lip Essentials //Catwa BENTO//
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO
tattoo.::Nanika::. Spring is coming Black

…:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::… Reckless Collar
[n.i] metal.as.f*ck.set 5 (Mainstore and marketplace closed)
Astralia – Rock nails with HUD (Bento) (*new* @ N21)
[ kunst ] – Wire ring

!Rebel Hope – Willow Mesh Crop Top_Maitreya (*new* @ FaMESHed)
L&B Swear Keiko Leather Pants (*new* @ Uber)
L&B ( LF) Swear “Ranger” Boot – Womens

Josh is wearing:
hair: *Dura-Boy*70(Dark brown)
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel
bodySlink Physique Male Mesh Body
tattoo: DAPPA – Pharaoh Tattoo.

L&B Swear “Classic” T-Shirt Group Gift v2
L&B Swear Patrol Denim Jeans
[VALE KOER] HIGH CARDINAL ALLDAY

poses: Bauhaus Movement
scene: MINIMAL – Illusion Background *2*

Posted in Bueno, Events, Fancy Decor, Fashion, Home Decor, Landscaping, Phedora, Second Life, Self Reflection, Shiny Shabby, shopping, Uber SL, unKindness

Stormy Weather

Last night we had one helluva a wicked storm. In my area its pretty standard to have a weather radio and lots of candles on hand, particularly this time of year. From hail storms like the one last night to tornadoes which almost happened last night. We were under a tornado watch, which means they saw rotation that could easily become a tornado in seconds. I guess everyone think their weather is a bit wonky, whether you live in the mid-west where they go from high temps to tornado warnings to snow all within 24hrs or you live in the Northeast areas that are bog down by no’easter every single winter. So, its pretty standard for anyone that deals with extreme weather conditions to keep some candles on hand. Scented, plain, and everything in between…candles are a must, because the power can and often does go out.

stormy-weather1

I was already setting up the scene when the weather hit and got a bit scary, so I saw it as a sign to go ahead and combine my stormy weather with my candle shop set  up. Fancy Decor has pulled out all the stops for this round of Arcade with a complete set. From rares such as a the store build and color change full candle shelf, to everyday items that can be used around your house like candles, a beautifully detailed candle box, a lamp, snuffer, and wall art…and more actually. Definitely a machine that you can’t lose by playing and those are my favorite gachas of all!
stormy-weather2

I had to get a closer shot of my outfit, because the Satomi boots by Phedora that are being offered up at Uber…well, there’s no way my pictures truly do this justice, but these boots are just delicious. Not exactly a thigh high, but just over the knee enough to give that long leg look and the color pallette? Well, you can see for yourself how perfectly they matched up with the Shy Breeze dress that Dead Dollz offered up at the most recent round of Shiny Shabby. There’s so much shopping to be done, get on out there and enjoy yourselves, because …well…SHOPPPPINNGGGGG!!!!

wearing:
hair: Exile:: Early Rise
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-VISTA BENTO
tattoo.::Nanika::. Spring is coming Black

**RE** Dark Queen Bracelets
[FORMANAILS] BALLERINA -2- NAILS FOR VISTA BENTO HAND Big Pack

.::Dead Dollz::. Shy Breeze – Blue (Shiny Shabby)
Phedora ~ Satomi boots (*new* @ Uber)

pose: BELLE EPOQUE – A day without rain

scene:
set up in a Turnip’s Skydome w/Enchanted Texture Collection
uk – Victorian Fence Set Brown – (Rally to Rescue)
-LC- Full Grass Field – 5 – Seasonal
Skye Windswept Tree Type 3  No Base
Fancy Decor: Shop Building RARE (*new* @ Arcade)
BUENO– Bike-Silver (*new* @ Arcade)
18 Fancy Decor: Queen Bee Engraving (*new* @ Arcade)
16 Fancy Decor: Tablet Register (*new* @ Arcade)
14 Fancy Decor: Cloche (*new* @ Arcade)
13 Fancy Decor: Counter (*new* @ Arcade)
11 Fancy Decor: Scented Candle (*new* @ Arcade)
10 Fancy Decor: Candle Box (*new* @ Arcade)
08 Fancy Decor: Candle Lamp (*new* @ Arcade)
07 Fancy Decor: Hanging Candles (*new* @ Arcade)
06 Fancy Decor: Circle Table (*new* @ Arcade)
03 Fancy Decor: Empty Candle Shelf (*new* @ Arcade)
02 Fancy Decor: Full Candle Shelf RARE (*new* @ Arcade)

Posted in Collabor88, Cynful, Events, Fashion, Gingerfish Poses, Second Life, Shiny Shabby, shopping, What if...

What if….Happy Plate

Alright, boys and girls and everything in between, gather round…its time for another disturbing peak into the meanderings of Sady’s mind.
Earlier today, my mother cooked the most delicious meal of grilled pork chops, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans, and cheddar biscuits. As my fork dove into the green beans I thought, “I’m about to make a very happy plate out of this meal.” Now, that may sound rather odd to some of you, but growing up in the South (I can’t speak for other regions) it was fairly common for mommas to tell their kids to make a happy plate or no dessert or you can’t go back out to play or  some other dire consequence that no child wants to hear. So, the goal was to make a happy plate. To make a happy plate, you had to eat everything on the plate.
So, as I found myself thinking that I was about to make a happy plate (with no consequences other than a full belly) I thought to myself, “What if…plates were actually happier when the food was on them?” I know! What if all this time we’ve been robbing these poor plates of their joy by taking away the only thing that indeed does make them happy. Afterall, we all want to serve a purpose, right? What purpose does a plate serve while tucked away nice and clean….and EMPTY in a cabinet? What joy can be found by lying around dirty in a sink piled up with other dirty dishes and utensils? What if moms had been making the happy plates all along, only they didn’t know it? Worse yet, moms were sadistic and actually wanted to steal the joy of the plates? We weren’t making happy plates at all…we were serving evil mothers and their maniacal manifests! *gasps* We were making UNhappy plates!
As I finished my plate, I knew that it was a silly notion. I mean, plates are inanimate objects without feelings, right? My mouth was happy. My tummy was happy. Mom was certainly happy that I enjoyed the meal. The plate served it’s purpose, right? It held my food for me…so, the plate WAS happy…for a little while.

happy-plate2

One thing is for sure, my pixels are hella happy in this Goal Digger dress from Cynful. I swear that store is named correctly, because this dress is cynfully delicious! I’ve dressed it up with jewels, but there are some pretty slay worthy stripe options available with this dress…so slay worthy, in fact, that the word Slay is proudly displayed across the back. Not to worry, that’s only with the sporty stripes. If you want to shine and go out sleek and elegant, then save the stripes for another day. This dress is so complete, you don’t even need to wear your body under it. Wanna save on complexity? Take off the body, wear some hands and feet, you’re all set. And we all know that for every HUD you remove you improve your performance and cut down on your contribution to lag.
There was some serious time and work put into this design and it shows. Looks at how the wrinkles and shadows of the material are strategically placed, making it look so realistic and yummy! To put it in the words of the first man that saw me in this dress, “WOW! That dress is gorgeous! You look amazing!”
So to all of you I wish happy plates, happy pixels, and happy shopping! *winks*

wearing:
hair:.Shi Hair : Discorded / Unisex (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
ears: .:E.A.Studio Ear Nepthune
skin: [theSkinnery] Opal (Catwa Applier) honey
eyeshadow: Izzie’s  – Soft Shimmer Eyeshadows (Catwa Applier)
lipstick: ::SG::  Clara Lips for CATWA Heads only!
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-F-VISTA BENTO PROHANDS FEM

EF: Communique Full Jewelry Set
[Cynful] Goal Digger Dress (*new* @ Collabor88)

poses by Gingerfish Poses -Curves Set

Posted in Animals, Cosmopolitan, Events, Fashion, Home Decor, Rebel Hope, Second Life, Shiny Shabby, shopping

Steampunk

“Steampunk is…a joyous fantasy of the past, allowing us to revel in a nostalgia for what never was. It is a literary playground for adventure, spectacle, drama, escapism and exploration. But most of all it is fun!”
George Mann

I love this description of Steampunk, because it suits us all so well in Second Life, too, doesn’t it? This is a virtual playground full of adventures, exploration, plenty of spectacles, and God knows we’ve got more than our fair share of drama. I think for most of us its a form of escapism, as well as a creative outlet. I don’t have a lot of experience with Steampunk, so I won’t even pretend to know anything about it other than it looks super cool! Its fun to dress up and decorate with various steampunk and industrial styles in SL. I’ve gathered quite a collection over the years and have rarely displayed any of it outside of my home (which I am constantly changing), but when I saw this corset from Elegance Boutique, a steampunk scene immediately began unfolding in my head and this is the result.

steampunk_011

I’ve listed everything in the photos and its quite a list. Just know that it was the corset that sent my mind whirling into the Eye of the Storm that is now my little world of Steampunk. As there are soooo many color options available, just imagine what it will inspire you to do. *winks*

wearing:
hair: Vanity Hair::Aquarius
head: CATWA HEAD Catya
skin: [theSkinnery] Opal (Catwa Applier) honey
eyeshadow & lipstickNew Faces – Emilia (Catwa app) [Make-up]
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
hands: -VA-F-VISTA BENTO PROHANDS FEM

.BP. Steam Patch Airship Captain ultra rare
Absolut Vendetta– Hydra Rings
Bauhaus Movement – Madonna Necklace
Yasum*MESH*Elfen Bracers
[CX] Zip Up Bracelets

Elegance Boutique -Corset   “Mona” – Brown (*new* @ Cosmopolitan)
-SU!- Nylon Stockings /Ripped/ BLACK
!Rebel Hope – Gossip Mesh Platform Boots_Maitreya

scene:
created in Scarlet Creative Myrtle Mews
:CP: Los Robles London Rug
Apt B // The Industrial Side – Old cabinet
*LODE* Deco – Morning Glory Gramophone [oxidized]
!gO! SteamTeddy +Cheedo+
DRD – Industrial Seat
[ zerkalo ] Steampunk Posters – 6 (*new* @ Shiny Shabby)
RO – Spook Show – Val Vain Mannequin
DRD – Industrial hanging lights
..::TH::.. Recycled “Willy” Table+
!gO! SteamTeddy +Nux+
Apple Fall Books & Map
BAZAR Traveler-Book&Clock
Soy. BKLYNITES LOFT – Factory Chair
!gO! SteamTeddy +Mad+
Exposeur – Wonderland Pocketwatch – Copper (store closed)
.03 [ kunst ] – Raiload shelving
!gO! SteamTeddy +Ace+
..::TH::.. Neptune Sideboard
JIAN Countryside Collies :: Family Rug
Ex Machina Vulcano fireplace 1.2
RO – The Doll Maker – Iva Plague Doll
NOMAD // Amore Loveletters
{vespertine– letters deco.}
.08 [ kunst ] – Pick axe (floor)
!gO! SteamTeddy +Giddy+
Bauhaus Movement – Cypriss’s Apocalypse Gun
!gO! SteamTeddy +Slit+
RO – Spook Show – Freida Freak Mannequin
..::TH::.. Neptune Cabinet
DRD – Industrial wineholder
..::TH::.. Industrial Table (with giver)
DIGS – Hand-Rolled Smoking Decor
..::TH::.. Metches Box “Kraken Book”

poses by Bauhaus Movement

Posted in E.A.Studio, Fashion, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping

Weather the Storm

Its a pretty standard start to a conversation, “How are you?”
Depending on who is asking, I might give the obligatory and polite response, “I’m fine/ok/alright.” On occasion, I’ll be honest and sometimes I’m not ok/fine/alright. This happened to me today. My response was, “eh…battling my inner demons.” I was then asked what inner demons were, which struck me odd, as no one had ever asked me that before. It was just something people always understood and if they didn’t, they pretended to. I was desperate for an answer, as I didn’t want to sound rude or condescending. I grasped for the quickest thing I could think of and replied, ” like depression and voices and negative feelings and stuff.” I know that wasn’t a very accurate description, but I wasn’t really in the mood to spell it all out, as I’m the type that tends to withdraw and emotionally disconnect when the demons come calling.
I’ve been battling these demons for most of my life and over the years, they’ve gotten much stronger and much more difficult to fight. Most of the time, I just want to sleep, surrender to them in my dreams in the hopes that they will leave me alone upon waking. Naturally this does not always work. Sometimes, I think they simply arm themselves with more ammunition while I sleep. I know what’s happening. I know its temporary. I know it will pass. I, also, know that there’s nothing anyone can do to help. They are my demons and despite the many efforts made over the years by some pretty amazing people…those demons will never cease to haunt me. They are mine and they are with me always. All, I can do is weather the storm and wait for the sun to return to my dark little world. Sometimes, its only a matter of hours…sometimes, its days…and on a few occasions it has been weeks. I just have to ride it out and put on as brave a face as I can muster. Occasionally, one or two friends will break through and actually get me to open up about some of what’s going on. While, it usually helps me to talk about my feelings…discussing my demons is a completely different story.

weather-the-storm

This has been a rough year and as the year comes to a close, my demons have arrived prepared for a battle that I simply do not have the energy to fight. The light that is my essence will eventually find its way back to the surface and force the demons back the dark corners of my mind where they will reside until something else triggers their release.
I’v chosen to share this here, because that’s where I’m at right now. I’m not suicidal. I know this routine all too well. However, there are those that don’t. So, I urge you to reach out and check on each other. Not everyone is having a joyous holiday. Don’t worry about me. I’m weathering this storm as I have and will again, but please take care of each other. It really does make a difference to know people care.

I didn’t break out anything new and special for this photo. the shorts I’ve had almost a year, at least. No idea how long I’ve had the tee. The cardigan is fairly recent and I love it. I think the hair is the newest and its a lot like how I used to wear my rl hair years ago. So, here’s a little reminder not to worry so much about always buying the newest latest at all the events. We’ve got lots of amazing pieces in our inventory from months ago…give it a go, the next time you’re running low on lindens and waiting for more, or waiting for an event…have a look at some of those classic pieces in your inventory and create a whole new look.

wearing:
NO.MATCH_NO.OFFENCE. (A ) /female
-SU!- Lynexia Collar
.:E.A.Studio:. Piercing Bare Code Silver
::GB::Off Shoulder Cardigan (F)
Vinyl – Zyra Tee – Lara
Absolut Vendetta– Hydra Rings
Addams // Electra Denim Short