Posted in Animals, breathe, Cynful, Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Legacy, Lelutka, Reign, Second Life, Shiny Shabby, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL, vinyl

my lil butt is staying put

I have to believe this has been the craziest year of most people’s lives. I can only imagine what else 2020 will bring for the second half of the year. I’m pretty sure whatever it is will leave us scratching our heads in wonder. One thing is for sure, more than ever before I do not want to leave my house. I know a lot of people are feeling cooped up and are itching to get out the door and do anything…just to get out of the house. For me, it hasn’t been that big of a deal. I didn’t want to leave the house before the virus. Now? Nah, my ass is staying right here. I’m not even trying to get out there to do anything. I am perfectly content staying in my comfortable little condo with my pets and my mother. We have everything we need and when we do need something, there are people out there to deliver it. This works for me. Yep, my lil butt is staying put.

stealthic cynful vinyl lyrium reign rezz

hair: Stealthic – Endless @ Anthem
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.2
eyes:  [Heaux] Piper Eyes @ Anthem
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [Glam Affair]  LIllian Skin [ Lelutka ] @ Uber

lashes: MICHAN – Lilith Lashes Fatpack [Lel EVO] @ TLC
eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA HALF TIME COLLECTION # 5 @ ShinyShabby
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA HALF TIME COLLECTION #10 @ ShinyShabby
nails: -SU!- Almond Nails

Cynful Zipper Top @ LeVeL
VINYL – Chickory Pants @ FaMESHed
[BREATHE]-Mimoko Heels @ Kinky

pose: Lyrium. Bree Series @ Dubai

scene:
MINIMAL – London Rooftop Scene @ Uber

[Rezz Room] Pug Adult Animesh

REIGN.- FRESH SQUEEZED LEMONADE

PILOT – Burger Meal

Posted in Catwa, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Maitreya, Mina Hair, Second Life, shopping

Ain’t Gonna Drown

“Train’s coming but I’m stuck on this road
Moon’s rising and my blood is growing cold
Preacher man can’t save a soul like mine
Miracles are just too damn hard to find
Ain’t gonna drown in the water”

ain't gonna drown

wearing:
hair:  MINA Hair – Cienna (*new* @ Belle)
head: CATWA HEAD Denice
SU!– Osanna Eyes (new @ LEVEL)
SU!– Piercing Set 07 Septum & Nose Studs
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #PUMEC – Sophia (*new* @ Cupid Inc)

Astralia – Kitty chain rings
Ascendant  – Flirt Nails (*new* @ Cupid Inc)
Mug – Aura Shirt (*new* @ Belle)
Pseudo- Teddy Panty (*new* @ Belle)

pose: FOXCITY. Back to Baesics Bento Pose Set

Posted in Bueno, CandyDoll, Catwa, FaMESHed, GingerFish, Gingerfish Poses, Gos, Landscaping, RunAway Hair, Second Life, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative

Recharged

I’ve made this conscious decision not to let this year get the best of me, but the truth is I battle with depression and even more so in the last few years. My friend, Tracy, told me one of the most profound statements about depression that has ever stuck with me. She said, “Depression lies.” I really analyzed that statement or perhaps my demons did in the hopes they could prove it untrue. In my effort to deny my depression too much power, I’ve resorted to sleep. Though sleep often eludes me, there are certain combinations of medications that will knock me out for hours on end. Obviously, I cannot take these medications daily for regular sleep, or I’d be full blown addicted in no time. However, when my view of everything in the world is tainted by depression and cynicism, I know its time to avoid people and turn my back on the world. I know I need to shut down. Let my demons have my dreams. I can wake up from those. I can’t always shake the thoughts the demons plant. Today was one of those days. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and pain and envy…self-doubt…self-pity…self-loathing. The list goes on and on. Today was a day like that. It can be paralyzing which is just another reason why its easier to sleep than battle my demons. Today, my only defense was shutting down and hiding under my blankets. I’m recharged now and ready to fight back, wish me luck. ♥

wishing for a wish

wearing:
hair: [RA] Stacy Hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

_CandyDoll_ Domi Jumpsuit (*new* @ Kinky)
[Gos] Tamara Ankle Boots (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: GingerFish Poses – Gloss set (*new* @ TLC)

scene:
anxiety %chicago build1
BUENO-NightSpot Loft Building
BUENO-After Hours Loft Building

Posted in Blueberry, Catwa, Events, Fashion, Lamb, Legal Insanity, Second Life, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL, vinyl

Just sit next to me

“Don’t say nothing
Just sit next to me
Don’t say nothing, shh
Just be, just be, just be”
~ Paloma Faith – Just Be

take time to relax

Sady is wearing:
hair: Lamb. Wildflower (*new* @ Uber)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: –Belleza– Freya
skin: [theSkinnery] Paola

Blueberry – Juju – Sweater
VINYL – Fallout Open Fly Jeans (*new* @ Uber)

pose: CORPUS – Pyaar (*new* @ TLC)

Cruel is wearing: Legal Insanity – Fitz jeans outfit

Posted in Catwa, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Foxcity, Rebel Hope, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL, [ATI] Addicted to Ink

White Flag

I’m guessing by now that my regular readers have noticed that I’m trying very hard to get away from posting song links & copy/pasting lyrics. I’ve decided instead to explain why some songs are so special to me and why they’ve ended up on my personal soundtrack. So, now if you’re interested the video is embedded at the bottom of the post and if you right click on it, you can open that up in a new window.
Alright, so Dido’s White Flag….this song means so freaking much to me. It reminds me of a real life relationship I had many years ago with a guy we’ll call Bran. I fell in love with Dido about the same time I fell for him. Sadly, he didn’t quite love me the same way and my love for him was a tad bit unrequited. Though, you couldn’t convince any of our friends that we weren’t a couple. *laughs* Its a much longer story than I care to type out. However, with that said, I did have to finally let go…as I found something rather suspicious on his computer and I was never comfortable around him again. *sighs* At the time that I had such strong feelings for Bran, there’s simply nothing anyone could have said to make me give up, thus this song resonated with me.

seeing dots

Sady is wearing:
hair: [monso] My Hair – Summer  (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
!Rebel Hope – Nancy Mesh Dress (*new* @ Uber)

pose: [ATI] Tamar Set (*new* @ ELITE)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2. (4) Hush – White (Common) (*new* @ Arcade)

Posted in Catwa, Events, FaMESHed, Foxcity, Maitreya, Second Life, shopping, [ATI] Addicted to Ink, {le fil casse}

I Won’t Keep Watching

Once in a while we fight doing the right thing, because we’re not sure what that is. Cutting people from our lives is a lot like that. Its hard, because you’re ditching your loyalty. That’s pretty serious, but it would seem that sometimes our loyalty needs to be to ourselves first and foremost. If we don’t treat ourselves the way we want to be treated, how will anyone else even begin to figure out what we want.
I believe I must be at an advantage here, because as a child we moved every 2-3 yrs. So, I was constantly saying goodbye to people and letting go. By the time I grew up, letting go and walking away was far easier for me than others. The challenge for me was to stop walking away. Eventually, I started hanging on to people for dear life. I was scared to death that if I kept walking away, I’d never learn to just be in the here and now. I wasn’t running, I was simply walking away from anyone and anything that didn’t enhance my life. Now, I’m starting to understand what its like for other people and the struggle to let people go. However, one thing I’ll never have to fight or struggle with for long is letting go of some I feel is abusive. That will never be okay and something I outgrew a really long time ago.
There’s a line in the song I’ve attached that really struck a personal chord with me:
I won’t keep watching you
Dance around in your smoke
And flicker out
You’re not the light I used to know

more selfies
That empowering moment when you delete & block them. 

wearing:
hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Francesca hair (*new* @ FaMESHed)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
-SU!- Amoret Eyeliner +CATWA APPLIER+
-SU!- Xanthe Lip Gloss +CATWA APPLIER+
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: [theSkinnery]  Saska
hand tattoo: [ATI] Destiny Lite…Maitreya Applier…
nails: Astralia – Compatible nails system (Maitreya Stiletto base)
toksik – Bloom Choker (Group Gift)
{le fil casse} Kassie Ruffle Hearts Top (*new* @ FrouFrou)

pose: [ATI] Destiny Lite Set (*new* @ Suicide Dollz)
FOXCITY. K-POP Star 2 – Because I am The Best (Rez) (2) RARE (*new* @ Arcade)