Posted in Animals, Apple Fall, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fancy Decor, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, poses, Second Life, shopping, skin, tattoo

Sunshine

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Sunshine

hair: DOUX – Silent hairstyle @ Equal10
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — NASTENA @ Arcade
tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem

TRIGGERED – Moon Craft Earrings
-SU!- Poison Sunglasses V.2
(Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection @ Uber
Seniha. Darsha Set @ FaMESHed
(Tunica, Belt, & Shorts)

[Rezz Room] Pug Adult Animesh

pose: Lyrium. Camera Ready Pose & Prop Set @ Equal10

Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Pool @ Arcade
-1. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Pool RARE LI:6
-12. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Pool Clutter LI:3
-13. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Privacy Screen LI:3
-14. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Sofa LI:7
-15 . Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Armchair LI:3
-16. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda CoffeeTable LI:1
-17. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Side Table LI:1
-18. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Orchid Arrangement LI:2
-4. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Gazebo RARE LI:48
-6. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Fireplace LI:13
-8. Fancy Decor + KraftWork Voda Hanging Lantern LI:3

Apple Fall Lemonade LI:1
Apple Fall Lemonade Pitcher LI:2

Ariskea[Mocorra] stone path LI:3

Dahlia – Flamingo Float LI:3

MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha @ Arcade
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #02 LI:1
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #04 LI:1
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #05 LI:1
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #10 LI:2
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #11 LI:8
MINIMAL – Plant Collection Gacha #12 LI:8

Pixel Mode – Anahata – Magazine Clutter LI:3 (no longer available)

Posted in Collabor88, Cynful, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shoes, shopping, skin, Uber SL, [BREATHE]

It might stop

I’m up all night online
I’m looking up my symptoms
Tell myself I’m fine
But my system just ain’t listenin’
Like ooh
This ain’t normal how I’m feelin’, no
Ooh
Running higher than a fever
When my palms start to sweat
I feel it in my stomach
This is how I get
Every time I know you’re comin’ over
Ooh
Sometimes I think that I might die with you
Ooh
It’s like I’m almost too alive with you
Ahhh
Ooh ohh ooh
Oh, it feels like
My heart’s gonna beat so fast, gonna beat so fast
Gonna beat so fast that it might stop

It might stop

hair: tram K0227 hair @ C88
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — NASTENA @ Arcade
tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem

  • TRIGGERED – Moon Craft Earrings
    (Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection @ Uber
    Cynful Strappy Set – Gloves
    Cynful Hankie Top @ Equal10
    Cynful Hankie Skirt + Panties @ Equal10
    [BREATHE]-Takiko Heels

[Rezz Room] Panther Animesh @ Equal10

pose: FOXCITY. Chilling

FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Cozy Balcony

dust bunny . potted palm
dust bunny . spotted begonia
dust bunny . potted rubber tree

tarte. hanging marble pothos plant
tarte. hanging trailing jade plant
tarte. hanging spider plant

DaD “Farmhouse Pillows Basket”

Madras 11 Zebra Decor

KraftWork Icelandic Dining Clutter . Rug

Posted in Apple Fall, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, Self Reflection, shoes, shopping, skin, Uber SL, vinyl, [BREATHE]

a beautiful conversation about life

I was hanging out with some of my favorite people last night and one of them made a comment about “lazy homeless” people. I quickly jumped on the defensive. As I have been homeless on a number of occasions in my 20s and there was nothing lazy about my situation. Of course, I encountered loads of other homeless people during those times. I had to explain that while there are some people that simply don’t want to be responsible members of society. However, the bulk of the homeless people I encountered were anything but lazy. As being homeless is not an easy way to live. People that live in shelters must abide by an excess of rules put in place to keep things as orderly as possible. There are curfews and requirements one must continuously make to continue their stay and many shelters have limitations on how long people can reside there. I don’t have specific numbers, but I’d dare say that the majority of homeless people have not chosen that lifestyle as their preferred method of existence. Plus there are far more living without shelter. That is NOT an easy way to live. Its beyond dangerous. Once a person is homeless, it is safe to say that getting back on your feet is ridiculously hard. As I pointed out to my friend, what is the first thing you do the morning of a job interview? Shower, right? If you have no home, you have no shower and probably don’t have much in the way of a clean nice outfit to wear.
Anyway, the point is, don’t be so quick to judge people in situations you can’t begin to understand. Turns out that one of the other people there had also experienced homelessness and was glad that I spoke up. Meanwhile, our uninformed friend was enlightened and apologized. I didn’t find the apology necessary, but it was appreciated. I was especially glad that we were all able to have such a beautiful conversation about life without hate or disgust. I won’t name them, because too many private matters were discussed and only my part of the story is mine to tell. I suspect they might read this and because they might I want to give them to know something. I love you and I’m so grateful for your friendship. I look forward to getting to know you even better in the years to come. ♥

Clearly that has nothing to do with the photo. So, I’d like to add that if you have not gotten the Spring Decocrate, this set from Serenity Style is worth getting it, just for this set. Even if you didn’t pre order it, its worth the price. Go grab yours. I have to pay full price, too, cuz I forgot to pre order…lol. You’ll also notice I’m wearing the new Lost Girl dress from Vinyl. This is the first dress Vinyl has released in ages and its so cute! AND it goes perfectly with these new wedges that Breathe released at the Arcade! So get out your wallets, its time to go shopping!!

a beautiful conversation about life

hair: DOUX – Lucy hairstyle @ LEVEL
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9
tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem

VINYL – Lost Girl Dress @ Uber
[BREATHE]-Mizuko Wedges @ Arcade

pose: Ana Poses – Saturday Night 8 @ Arcade

Scarlet Creative Charlotte’s Corner House Boat or Cabin

outside: Serenity Style– Eggs Farm Backdrop @ Uber Hometown

Serenity Style-Spring Colors Breakfast Set for Decocrate Spring
-Serenity Style- Spring Colors Breakfast Table
-Serenity Style- Spring Colors Breakfast Tray [LINKED]
-Serenity Style- Spring Colors Breakfast Chairs (blue, pink, yellow, & green)

Serenity Style– Vintage Treasures – Doors
Serenity Style- Vintage Treasures – Bookshelf

..::THOR::.. Think Green Gacha Set @ Arcade
-..::THOR::.. Hanging Crate
-..::THOR::.. Organic Hanging Tote
-..::THOR::.. Vintage Table Fan – Mint
-..::THOR::.. Greenhouse Stool – Cream
-..::THOR::.. Owl & Books
-..::THOR::.. Vintage Watering Can – Mint

  1. Apple Fall Blanket Curio
    Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 7
    Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 8
    Apple Fall Books – Arrangement 10
    West Village Sculpted Turtle – Verdigris

Di’Cor Snail Figurine @ FaMESHed

dust bunny . quirky planters 2 . kitty planter
dust bunny . quirky planters 3 . rainbow planter

Ariskea[Marguerite] Pitcher Flowers – Pale @ Anthem

[Fetch] Spring Treats – Bun Mug RARE @ Arcade

MADRAS Ooty Turtle Tea Pot Seafoam

CHEZ MOI Sleepy Kitty @ Arcade
CHEZ MOI Plant Vase 1,2, & 3 @ Arcade

The Loft & ARIA – Branwyn Rug

tarte. hanging trailing jade plant

{vespertine} hanging succulents. – string of pearls

Posted in Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, [BREATHE], {le fil casse}

Is it hard knowing you’re wrong?

I heard from a friend of a friend
That you’ve been checking back in
‘Cause I said goodbye, moved overnight
And you haven’t heard much since then
Wondering how I’m doing now
It’s none of your business first of all
Wondering how I’m doing now
But if you’ve got to know, well sure
Well sure
You think I’d be lost
Think I’d be lost without you, lost
Is it hard knowing you’re wrong
See I got lots without you
Lots without you

Is it hard knowing you’re wrong?

hair: Tableau Vivant \ Water lily – Dropping @ Arcade
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9
tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem

(Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection @ Uber
{le fil casse} Mei Collection @ Arcade
(top & panties-black)
[BREATHE]-Sasumi Heels @ FaMESHed

[Rezz Room] Sphynx Animesh @ ManCave

pose: Diversion – Come Back – Pose Set

backdrop: MINIMAL – Natural Nude Backdrop III Spiral @ Kustom9

  • TRIGGERED – Antidepressant Kit (Wine Bottle & glass)

..::THOR::.. Small Radio

dust bunny . hanging plants . cheese plant

hive // hanging devil’s ivy plant . light

Posted in DOUX, Events, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, shoes, shopping, skin, Uber SL, [BREATHE]

When did my heart stop beating?

My feet are on the ground I swear
But I’m not moving anywhere
My lungs say that I’m breathing
But when did my heart stop beating?
I don’t know who I am
Or who I used to be before
You broke me in a thousand pieces
Now tell me, how am I to fix this?
Don’t you try and help me ’cause I know
I know
Only time can heal but it’s running out
Running outTell me how to feel, to feel okay
Tell me how to feel, to feel okay
‘Cause I don’t know
I’ve been feeling pretty low
Ever since the day you dug my heart’s grave

When did my heart stop beating?

hair: DOUX – Lucy hairstyle @ Level
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9
tattoo: *Bolson / Tattoo – Antheia @ Anthem

(Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection @ Uber
AsteroidBox. Maria Shirt @ Anthem
Eliavah ~ Lucia’s Panties
[BREATHE]-Tsukiko Heels RARE @ Arcade

pose: Gravity Poses ShoeModel 1-5 @ Orsy

BLACK NEST / Belladonna Bed

Posted in Animals, Bad Unicorn, Bueno, Collabor88, Cynful, DOUX, Events, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, [BREATHE]

But I keep cruising

I never miss a beat
I’m lightning on my feet
And that’s what they don’t see, mm, mm
That’s what they don’t see, mm, mm
I’m dancing on my own (Dancing on my own)
I make the moves up as I go (Moves up as I go)
And that’s what they don’t know, mm, mm
That’s what they don’t know, mm, mm
But I keep cruising
Can’t stop, won’t stop grooving
It’s like I got this music in my mind
Saying it’s gonna be alright’
Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off (Whoo-hoo-hoo)

But I keep cruising

hair: DOUX – Vanilla hairstyle @ Uber
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9

#3 CHAIN – Olivia Necklace – Silver
Cynful Sky Shimmer Dress @ C88
[BREATHE]-Sasuki Heels @ Kinky

backdrop: MINIMAL – Red Rocks Scene

[Rezz Room] American Bully Adult Animesh
[Rezz Room] Rottweiler Adult Animesh

BUENO -4×4- Barbie Group Gift
[Bueno x Bad Unicorn] Rose Gold – Unicooler @ TMD
BUENO-Bai Luggage-Suitcase-Pink
BUENO-Bai Luggage-Duffle Bag-Pink

Tentacio – explore the world

dust bunny . bon voyage . suitcase . pink

Posted in Events, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, poses, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL

It’s tied to all I’m worth

Freedom is a curse
That I don’t wanna break
I’m trapped inside a room
Where everything’s fading

It’s tied to all I’m worth
Like every conversation
And love is for the birds
When things are complicated

Somber as a ghost
I just want a home
Everyone is so far gone
We are all alone

It's tied to all I'm worth

hair: Tableau Vivant \ Siria hair @ Uber
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC — SARAH @ Kustom9

Seniha. Suzzane Set @ Uber

pose: Diversion – Spring Glow Poses @ TLC

Posted in DOUX, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Legacy, Lelutka, Uber SL, vinyl, [BREATHE]

Become or Retreat

There is an illusion about America, a myth about America to which we are clinging which has nothing to do with the lives we lead and I don’t believe that anybody in this country who has really thought about it or really almost anybody who has been brought up against it — and almost all of us have one way or another — this collision between one’s image of oneself and what one actually is is always very painful and there are two things you can do about it, you can meet the collision head-on and try and become what you really are or you can retreat and try to remain what you thought you were, which is a fantasy, in which you will certainly perish. -James Baldwin

Become or Retreat

hair: DOUX – Vanilla hairstyle @ Uber
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

[Aleutia] Faith Sweater
VINYL – Nirvana Shorts
[BREATHE]-Tatsuko Heels @ Uber

pose: FOXCITY. Secure The Bag set

backdrop: MINIMAL – The Prison @ Equal10

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative

a glimpse into my BPD brain

Ok, so this is a bit off and has absolutely nothing to do with the photo, but since I am prone to sharing my real life or lackthereof here, I figure I might as well share this, too. However, this could be a trigger for some. If you are easily triggered by suicide topics, please have someone else read it first to determine whether or not you should. I’m doing this for me. These are my reasons: 1. to hold myself accountable 2. cuz I think the convo is cute 3. cuz it shows how quickly my state of mind changes
So, what I’m going to do is just copy a conversation between myself and my wifey, Ghoulina Waffles, cuz it pretty much sums things up. Please don’t go nuts and call for welfare checks, I’m fine and I have an appt with my therapist in the morning.

9:24am
Ghoulie: Hope your stint at XXXXXX went okay
Sady: girl, I couldn’t sleep before my shift
I just laid in bed for hours contemplating suicide
then after my shift, I passed the fuck out
and had a nightmare about a failed suicide attempt
Ghoulie: Jesus wammen
Sady: was a rad attempt fail tho
rofl
Ghoulie: you are not allowed to think of suicide when your wifey is this pretty https://flic.kr/p/2kENqCT
oh?
how’s that?
Sady: oooh, I tried to race my car into a busy intersection, but ended up launching my car over it instead, but also flipping it mid way so I was over the intersection upside down screaming “fuck yeah” out the window before turning right side up and crashing into a building
but in my dream, my car was so sturdy it protected me, so I just had a concussion some scratches and bruises
and a bunch of teenagers decided I was a worthy cause and all came to visit me
and then it was kinda over and a giant storm came and mom was passed out on the couch so I sat and watched this amazing storm outside
when it was over we went to target to buy candy
lmao
Ghoulie: WTF, so, you had an action film for a suicide attempt
Sady: ooh and at the store there were all these candy bar flavored pop tart bites….they were new and I was mad that they didn’t have a grab bag with all the flavors
especially since I didn’t want a whole bag of milky way pop tarts
lmao
Ghoulie: I like you, but you’re crazy (said with a gif)
Sady: note to self, do not use car in suicide attempt, cuz if it fails, you only killed your car
Ghoulie: No suicide attempts, okay?
Sady: we’ll see
Ghoulie: your body is already like evil hands rubbing together “Teeheehee we got this”
Sady: RIGHT???
Ghoulie: it’s like surprise suicide, you just can’t plan it
Sady: pretty much…lol

….then we trailed off to discuss our new Linden Labs stilt homes and other things

Again, I repeat, I’m fine now. I was just talking to one of my closest friends. She gets me on a level that most don’t and she knows when to take me seriously, when to worry, etc. She’s not worried and you shouldn’t be either. This is not a cry for help, but just a glimpse into my BPD brain. As my friend, Tracy Redangel, once said, “Depression lies.” I know this and I would not act on a suicidal impulse. Trust that I know myself far better than most and I will be discussing my thoughts with my new therapist tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I have too much work to do and too many people counting on me to just up and dip out! I PROMISE.

a glimpse into my BPD brain

hair: [monso] Mabel Hair @ C88
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

[ rD ] – Rayna Cuff & Earrings @ TLC
Rainbow Sundae Callie Bracelet @ TLC
MY BAGS by Mila Blauvelt My Naughty RED
hive // cold brew coffee to go .
Apl.Blossom Genesis @ TLC

pose: an lar [poses] The Sandra Series @ TLC

TROPIX // Time Music BackDrop 01 @ Access

Posted in Events, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative, {le fil casse}

Shatter me

If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly
There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive
I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly
There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive
I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
Somebody shine a light
I’m frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me

Shatter Me

hair: Stealthic – Searching @ Access
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian
tattoo: Juna: Madeleine tattoo @ The Liaison Collaborative

{le fil casse} Nivea Fishnet Set

pose: :LW: Bento Poses – Spring Feelings @ TLC

CELESTE – Moon Gate – Portal @ TLC
CELESTE – Gentle Flowers – Standard – Blue @ TLC