Can you hear them? They talk about us Telling lies Well, that’s no surprise Can you see them? See right through them They have no shield No secrets to reveal Doesn’t matter what they say In the jealous games people play Hey, hey, hey Our lips are sealed There’s a weapon That we must use In our defense Si-lence When you look at them Look right through them That’s when they’ll disappear That’s when we’ll be feared
DOUX – Seulgi hairstyle @ Dubai LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5 [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) — PUMEC – JADWIGA – LELUTKA x BOM
I’m a nightmare, I know what you mean by that I can’t wake up from all these scary dreams I have I don’t really care, and I never will That’s the way I am, such a bitter pill I don’t really care, how much silence kills That’s the way I am No, I wasn’t born without a heart I wasn’t always like this, no Watched you break me, no Now you blame me No, I wasn’t born with all these scars And that’s what made me like this, no Can you blame me, no? (No, oh, oh) I wasn’t born like this Hurt people, hurt people I’d rather be heartless (Heartless) Than have my heart in pieces
I’ve tasted blood and it is sweet I’ve had the rug pulled beneath my feet I’ve trusted lies and trusted men Broke down and put myself back together again Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger I’ve pinched my skin in between my two fingers And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors” Come on, little lady, give us a smile” No, I ain’t got nothin’ to smile about I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for A moment to say I don’t owe you a goddamn thing I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind They talk shit, but I love it every time And I realize I’m no sweet dream, but I’m a hell of a night That I’m no sweet dream, but I’m a hell of a night No, I won’t smile, but I’ll show you my teeth And I’ma let you speak if you just let me breathe I’ve been polite, but won’t be caught dead Lettin’ a man tell me what I should do in my bed Keep my exes in check in my basement ‘Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you’re complacent I could play nice or I could be a bully I’m tired and angry, but somebody should be
hair: DOUX – Martina hairstyle @ Level head: LeLUTKA Lily Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Lilly @ Kustom9
I gave you everything And in return You gave me nothing Show me a sign Please give me anything I will not hide from what’s inside of me My nemesis I’m turning away from me And all the things I’ve known I don’t need your help no more I can do this on my own I’m taking all the blame Resent what I’ve become I regret everything and There’s nowhere left to run There is no yesterday Tomorrow’s far away
hair: Tableau Vivant // Garland hair @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Lily Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Fran @ C88
AvaWay LETTER Necklaces Set @ FaMESHed (Yummy) Eliza Ring Collection @ C88
I’d like to tell you that my sky’s not blue, it’s violent rain
And in my world, the people on the street don’t know my name
In my world, I’m seven feet tall
And the boys always call, and the girls do too
Because in my world, I’m constantly, constantly havin’ a breakthrough (Hmm)
Or a breakdown, or a blackout
Would you make out with me underneath the shelter of the balcony?
‘Cause I don’t need anyone
I don’t need anyone
I just need everyone and then some
~ Halsey – Clementine
This is exactly how I feel when I’m trying to think of something to write about and have zero things on my mind. Damn meditation has me clearing that space way too much these days. Plus, I might not have much of a life. *sighs* Sometimes I just don’t have a lot to say, which is funny to me, because once upon a time people couldn’t shut me up. In fact, I got in trouble for talking in class all through school. After years of being told to shut up, I guess it finally sunk in. My last real romantic partner in SL (over two years ago…just wow) was always saddened by that. Apparently, people that have tried to dim my light have finally succeeded. I might be on a path of recovery with my mental health, but I don’t think I will ever be fully healed. I can change my outlook on life and be grateful, but the one thing I can’t seem to fully do is reignite that light. *shrugs* So goes life…at least mine, anyway.
The other day I wrote about protecting my heart and staying guarded. At the same time, I know if that if I don’t take the leap once in a while, I’m doomed to feel lonely. Fortunately, after all this time, I have found someone that does understand my limitations. I know there are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to love. So, I have thrown myself into the space and have decided to conquer this fear of mine. I’m going to trust the process. I’m going to trust a man…as much as I can. Time will tell, but I have a good feeling about this.