Posted in Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Reign, Second Life, shoes, shopping, Uber SL

Don’t Get Any Closer

What if I let you and you don’t like what you see
‘Cause it’s not what it seems let me tell you why
You have no idea yeah you’ve only seen a piece
But now it’s underneath no I cannot lie
Sometimes I get so frustrated
I’ve tried a million times to say it
It’s so much easier to fake
So trust me
Don’t get any closer
These walls are super high so don’t even try
To get any closer
I’m scared you’re gonna find
All the things I’ve been hiding from you
All the things I’ve been hiding from you
What if you hear the thoughts that haunt me in my sleep
The secrets I don’t speak running through my mind
You have no idea yeah you’ve only seen a piece
But now it’s underneath no I cannot lie
~ Bebe Rexha – Don’t Get Any Closer

stealthic oushk yasum reign templar bg

Sady is wearing:
hair:  Stealthic – Plush
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1
body:  [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe @ Uber

Tattoo “Dragon of the Rising Sun”_by GoK
:oushk – Zahra Chain Veil @ Belle
Yasum*Add Me*Legacy&Lara*Yang-Top* @ Kinky
Yasum*Add Me*Legacy&Lara*Ying-Pants* @ Kinky
REIGN.- AMI PLATS

pose: T E M P L A R //FURY @ Belle

Tusa Backdrop *RARE* – The Bearded Guy

 

Posted in Cynful, Events, Fashion, Foxcity, Glam Affair, Home Decor, Lelutka, Maitreya, Reign, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL

Refuse to Fit In

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
― Mandy Hale

tableau vivant glam affair cynful serenity style

Sady is wearing:
hair: Tableau Vivant  \\ [Pigtails] RARE @ Arcade
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 1.0
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Aura @ ARCADE

Ascendant – Jelly Strass Nails @ Kinky
(Yummy) Zodiac Ring Set @ Uber
REIGN.- PETER SMUSHER
Cynful T-Shirt Dress @ FaMESHed

pose: FOXCITY. Beach Bunny Bento Set

scene:

Golden Gilada – Partuza – The Bearded Guy

Serenity StyleSady Record Player Station RARE @ TLC

16. Elm. Malika Bedroom Gacha – Rug [Light] @ Arcade

Mutresse-Quirky Corgis-13 @ Arcade

Ariskea[Costa] Dragona Plant
Ariskea[FreshAir] Spider Plant [Sick]

 

Posted in Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Lelutka, Maitreya, Second Life, shopping

No Hat, Yet, Sis!

Would you look at that? Sady got herself a Valentine! Well, he found me, but the point is we’re together and we’re happy. It’s been a very long time since I seriously dated anyone in Second Life. I tried to date a friend of mine a few months ago, but that just didn’t work out for us and he eventually left Second Life. He even gave me his avatar. That’s two guys that have given me their avatars now…so, if you need a male model, hit me up! LOL Hmm, maybe I should change my name to the Black Widow! RIP Joe, you’re doomed now! Nah, I really like Joe…I might even love him…*blushes*
Alright, so I’ll fill you in…cuz everyone keeps asking the same question. “How did you meet?” Well, we actually met years ago at a club named Exodus that my sister owned. (Technically, she still owns it, but she closed it a few years ago.) Apparently he was a noob then and I was too caught up in some other bullshit to remember him. Though, to be fair, I did remember his name. Turns out he also dated a dear friend of mine. The minute I realized he had dated my friend, Tempy, I had to talk to her. Unlike so many people in the world, I don’t like to date men that my friends have dated. (Another reason I’ve been single so long.) Well, not only did Tempy give her blessing, but she’s become our biggest cheerleader. In fact, I’m not sure that I would even be with him now if not for her encouragement. Ffs, I got off track again! Why didn’t you stop me? I know…I know, you couldn’t if you tried.
Okay, so he hit me up on Facebook with a joke about a meme I had shared. He had my attention straight away with his sense of humor. From there, we met inworld to hang out…and well, we’ve been inseparable ever since. He’s pretty freaking amazing. He’s made me laugh, cry, yawn (time zones suck), and most of all…he’s made me very very happy. He’s even battled my demons (an ongoing job, sadly) and nothing I’ve done has run him off yet. *grins*  Now here’s the part that my sister will latch onto…he’s even mentioned a wedding..*shudders*…I told him he can propose on our one year anniversary. Until then, no more wedding talk…so to Kess, “NO HAT YET, SIS!”

tableau vivant blossom & seeds ana poses

wearing:
hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Lovely hair @ Cupid Inc
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 1.0
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Ella Skin – Lelutka

Cae :: Eternal :: Collar @ Kinky
Blossom&Seeds Imperia @ FaMESHed X

pose: Ana Poses – Ebony Oak

scene:
BackBone Hanging Dream Lounger – Neutral

dust bunny . gentlemen’s treats basket @ Cupid Inc

.peaches. Be Mine – Candy Hearts
.peaches. Be Mine – Condom Clutter

Posted in Bueno, Catwa, Chic Moda, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, GenusProject, Glam Affair, Maitreya, Second Life, Uber SL

Rough Week

It’s been a rough week full of tough decisions and its only Thursday! I’ve missed my last two group therapy appointments and I’m in serious need of some one on one with my therapist, luckily I have an appointment tomorrow. I’ve been avoiding someone close to me, because their lifestyle is toxic to me and despite the fact that I’ve asked repeatedly for some boundaries to be in place, this person refuses to show me even a modicum of respect.
It is absolutely heartbreaking to think that I might be losing a friend that I’ve grown to love so very much, but at the end of the day I must take care of myself. I’ve spent the last four years living in this dark hole of a life and as I try my hardest to pull myself out…I cannot allow anyone to hinder my growth. On the other hand, a true friend wouldn’t be so blatantly disrespectful, would they?
I mean, if I don’t set boundaries for myself and the people I allow in my life, I will only be putting myself back into that little people pleasing box, running around on auto pilot that has put me so far into the darkness I’m so desperately trying to escape. I want to enjoy what’s left of my life and I can’t do that if I continue to permit someone to consistently disrespect me. We tell each other all the time not to let our lovers do it, but we rarely approach the subject of friends. Sadly, that’s where I am right now and its a bridge I have avoided crossing for the better part of the past six months. *sighs*

chicmoda miu bueno truth derrek

Sady:
hair: TRUTH Kitten
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Baby Face
.random.Matter. – Miroh Human Ears @ Kustom9
body: Maitreya
skin: [Glam Affair] Hanna Applier [ Genus ] @ Uber

BUENO-Mercy Shades @ Anthem
Kibitz – Wandie’s necklace @ Kustom9
Ascendant – Temptress Nails @ Kinky
ChicModa // Noelle Sweater @ FaMESHEd
Legal Insanity – Gioia flared pants

Derrek:
hair: Modulus – Miles Hair
head: CATWA HEAD Daniel
body: [Signature] Gianni Body
suit: [Deadwool] Hart

pose: Ardent Poses – Content

Posted in Animals, Collabor88, Events, Fashion, GenusProject, Maitreya, Reign, Second Life

A joyful stroll

It is so important that we enjoy the little things in our lives, just as we enjoy the milestones and major events.  With the right attitude, we can find as much joy in a leisurely stroll down main street with our fur baby and a good drink, as we can going out on a Friday night with our friends. We simply need to take the time to really observe the beauty around us. A sidewalk sale might offer something that triggers a happy memory. A child’s laughter and excitement at being able to pet my dog could truly lift my spirit. Oh sure, I have clean up behind my pup, and carry that bag of poop until I find a trash bin, but I feel good about doing the right thing. I feel good about taking care of my pup and I feel good for showing respect to the city I live in. We never know what simply joys await us if we simply welcome positive experiences and reject the negative.

lunar reign rezzroom

hair:  TRUTH Ambience
head: Genus Head – Baby Face
skin: L’Etre – Lana Skin
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1

REIGN.- SPICED APPLE CIDER @ Equal10
[Rezz Room] Pomeranian Animesh @ Equal10

Mossu – Aria.Choker @ Collabor88
(Yummy) Heirloom Ring Set @ Collabor88
Ascendant – Lust Chain Nails @ Kinky

Lunar – Vivi Sweater & Bralette @ Equal10
Lunar – Vivi Leggings @ Equal10

location: FMD

Posted in Collabor88, Cynful, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, GenusProject, GingerFish, Maitreya, Second Life, The Liaison Collaborative

Easier to let go

As far back as I can remember, I’ve heard the phrase, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I’m just not sure that holds true with me. I’m not sure if its because I’m an Army brat or if there’s something intrinsically broken within me. If anything, the more fitting phrase for me would be, “Absence makes the heart grow stronger.” The longer someone ignores me or stays away…the harder someone pushes me away…the longer someone makes me wait…the stronger my heart gets and the less I feel the need or desire for that person in my life.
I’m pretty sure this is due to being an Army brat and constantly moving as a child. I mean, I was twelve before we moved into a home that would last us more than two years, and that home only lasted four. The next place lasted less than 3 years. I took moving around and constantly saying goodbye to people as part of life. Where I am now, I’ve lived since 2004 and I will most likely die here. It’s weird to think I won’t move again. It’s weird seeing what happens to my life when I am not constantly filtering through my belongings to reduce the amount of boxes I’ll have to move.
I haven’t been much different with the people in my life. I suppose that aside from my mother, my (ex) husband is the longest relationship I maintained and that was only because we shared a living space. Since he has moved out, we’ve barely texted. We haven’t spoken once. The longer he’s gone, the less I miss him, and the less it hurts. I suppose I trained myself to strengthen the walls around my heart as a child. I knew better than to get attached. Except now I fear its easier to let go, than it is for me to hold on.

tram cynful pure poison gingerfish rezzroom

hair:  tram I1009 hair @ Collabor88
head: Genus Head – Baby Face
skin: L’Etre – Lana Skin
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1

Ascendant – Lust Chain Nails @ Kinky
(Yummy) Heirloom Ring Set @ Collabor88
Pewpew! Warmed Hot Chocolate – White
Cynful Plush Turtleneck Dress @ Collabor88
Pure Poison – Scarlett Boots @ Collabor88

[Rezz Room] Bengal Cat Sleep

GingerFish – Cold Little Heart @ The Liaison Collaborative

Posted in DOUX, Events, Fashion, GenusProject, Maitreya, Second Life, The Liaison Collaborative

A little happier

My therapist said something really enlightening the other day and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. She said, “The most thankful people tend to be the happiest.” This took me back to a time in my life that I kept a gratitude journal. I would start and end every single day by writing about something for which I was grateful. It really did make a huge difference in my daily perspective. Sometimes it was something as simple as being grateful for a bed to sleep in, as there have been times in my life when I did not have such a luxury. Sometimes it would be something monumental, like being grateful that my mom is still alive and annoying me. The funny thing about gratitude is that when you find yourself looking at your life for things to be grateful for, you find more than you thought you would. Suddenly, your perception starts to change. So, it makes sense that we would be a little happier. *winks* So, today, I am grateful that someone has taken the time to read these words. That’s right, today I am grateful for YOU. ♥

doux addams pewpew lagyo chicchica osmia

hair:  DOUX – Evangeline hairstyle
head: Genus Head – Baby Face
skin: L’Etre – Lana Skin
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1

LaGyo_Charlaine Wire Glasses @ Anthem
Pewpew! Warmed Hot Chocolate @ Anthem
:::ChicChica::: Dick pop rings @ Kinky

SPIRIT – Donna Jacket
OSMIA – Liza.Crop Top & Lace Top
Addams // Zoe Pleated Skirt
Addams // Zoe Fishnet
Addams // Zoe Combat Boots

Amitie These Days @ The Liaison Collaborative

Details about the background can be found in a previous post: All my favorite colors

 

 

Posted in Catwa, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Foxcity, Glam Affair, Legal Insanity, Maitreya, Second Life, Uber SL

Rambling

I say that I don’t like people all the time, but the truth is I’ve just become rather anti-social. People actually fascinate me, but mainly the way out there types. It’s no secret that serial killers have always fascinated me and I admit, that’s rather grim. They’re not the only people that fascinate me though. Artists of all kinds are a curious lot. Actually, anyone that doesn’t live a basic life is interesting.
Profiles in SL are kinda neat that way. They provide a little peak into people’s live. I realize that I’m only seeing what people want me to see, but having been on the grid since 2006, I’ve learned how to read profiles with a grain of salt. There are certain things that are sure fire clues in some. Like the ones that swear they don’t do drama….you can bet that person is always mixed up in some drama. *laughs* You can discover all sorts of new music, by the links people provide. I’ve read some pretty funny stuff. The ones that feel it necessary to announce how bitchy or rude they are really make me tilt my head. Why do you want to tell the world you’re a negative, hateful person? When did that become a source of pride? It costs nothing to be nice. Why would anyone go out of their way to be rude and hateful to people they haven’t even met yet? I have to wonder if its some sort of self preservation tactic. I can’t imagine they are happy people. *shrugs*
Ah well, I’m rambling this morning. I’m gonna shush now. Happy shopping!♥

kuni legal insanity

KUNI / Ashley (v2.0)
CATWA HEAD Catya v3.2
[Glam Affair] Alexa Applier [ Catwa ] @ UBER
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
[[ Masoom ]] Tiffany Bento gloves @ Kinky
Miu – Avril open side top
Miu – Maia denims @ FaMESHed

FOXCITY. Night Owl Bento Set

Posted in Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Maitreya, Second Life, shoes, shopping, Uber SL

Paralyzed

The following is a poem I wrote the other day. I understand that poetry is not for everyone, but its something I love to do and sometimes its an easier way for me to express my feelings.
Paralyzed
Darkness fills the void you left
My heart is haunted by the desolation
Our history just a meaningless core

From the secret to the obvious

The fortunate ones, bask in the waters of hope
While the rest of us are gasping for air
Cutting our flesh to watch the blood appear
Wishing love had been more dependable
We reminisce about the times we had
The loves we lost
The once upon a times
And the happily never afters
Dreaming of possibilities
And fairy tale endings
Sometimes wishing our truth was a lie
Wishing we were still believers
Thumbing through old photos
My life unfolding like a story
A tale so foreign
It hardly seems like mine
Gripping the open wound
Knowing it will scar
No longer recognizing my reflection
Trying to forget your face
My head is pounding
My heart is bleeding
I finger paint on the floor
Pretending this is normal
Never getting over you
Unable to heal
I can’t move forward
I am paralyzed
~Sadystika Sabretooth
paralyzed

head: GENUS Project – Baby Face
SU!– Piercing Set 01
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Rose   @ Uber
Tattoo “Blinded Justice”_by GoK

#2 DOUX – Summer Night Hairstyle RARE
amias – NADIA gloves
amias – NARI top @ Kinky
Mossu – Chained (15) – Panties
NANIKA -Gill Belt/Garter @ Uber
Mosquito’s Way – Sharon

pose & background: STILLGESTANDEN – Lightbox