Posted in Events, Landscaping, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping, unKindness

Checking Out

Sometimes I really surprise myself at how stupid I can be. (Stop growling, Troy!) Regardless of all my experiences, I can still be so ridiculously naive, that it takes a close friend to point out something that should be blatantly obvious to me. Okay, short story, even shorter, I let someone I had just met disrespect me and essentially assault me. Yet, somehow, my shock exceeded all logic.
Not so long ago, I would have read that person like a book. I would’ve come so unglued on his ass that there would be no question about how I felt about it all. My reaction would have been instantaneous and rightfully so. Then I would have blasted his ass on Facebook and warned every girl I know!
It’s as if my common sense has begun to decay, like this shanty town in the photo. I’m starting to feel like a spectator of my own life. Rarely playing an active role in what happens to me. The last month and a half have been absolutely insane. My heart got ripped out of my chest and shoved through a meat grinder. I had two separate leaks happening in my RL home at the same time. All of this has led me to make a series of bad decisions one after another.  I am NOT a doormat. I need to remember this, because even two years ago I stood up for myself and demanded more respect. This cannot continue. As appealing as it sounds, I can’t just check out. Mine is a life worth living and that means treating myself as good, if not better, than I want to be treated by others.
I realize I’m rambling and this probably makes little to no sense to anyone really.  Yet, there is it…a raw look at my stupidity, my emotions, and my thoughts. With that said, I’m going to sleep…I wish you all the sweetest of dreams when you next go. ♥

ShantyTown

Everything you see here is from unKindness
*except the rocks which are: :Fanatik Architecture: CLIFF COVERS Beach

Below is a list of everything by order of the sets they belong to:
uk – Shanty Church House Gacha – (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
-uK – Shanty Church House Pray Billboard GoG
-uK – Shanty Church House Building RARE
-uK – Shanty Church House Hymn Board

uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Swamp Shack RARE

uk – End Times Photo Prop I&II – (*new* @ ManCave)
uK – End Times Billboard Photo Prop
uK – End Times II Billboard Photo Prop

uk – Shanty Repair Shop Gacha
-uK-SRS Ice Freezer
-uK-SRS Barrel Mess 1
-uK-SRS Shanty Repair Shop RARE
uK-SRS Always Open RARE
uK-SRS Barrel Mess 2

uK -In the Bayou Gacha
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile1
-uK- In the Bayou Common Shack
-uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 3
uK- In the Bayou Junk Pile 2

Posted in Bound Box, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, ON9, Pale Girl Productions, pr!tty, Second Life, shoes, shopping, {le fil casse}

Crawling

It’s a song day, because I’m not up to the task about writing how I feel or what I’m going through at the moment. Nor am I feeling some saucy little short story. I want to show you some gorgeous goodies from amazing Second Life creators. I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so I give you a peek into how I’m feeling with a song by one of my all time favorite bands.

Linkin Park – Crawling

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
That there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
That there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming (confusing what is real)
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling (confusing what is real)

Reflection

wearing:
hair: pr!tty – Pixie{GOTG}(*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
::Axix:: Beloved Nocturnia Gag (October Bound Box)
.::Supernatural::. Kate Choker Silver (*new* @ Season’s Story)
Astralia – Eternal Rings set (*new* @ Salem)
{le fil casse} Chriselle Top
{le fil casse} Jenna Skirt (*new* @ FaMESHed)
[The Forge] Livia Gladiator Boots

FOXCITY. Prop – Silk Stool (Bad Kitty VOL1) (*new* @ ON9)
MINIMAL – Retro Backdrops *2*

Posted in Blueberry, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Phedora, pr!tty, Second Life, Self Reflection, shoes, shopping

Another Year Older

It’s my birthday and despite all the terrible things that have happened in my life in the month of October over the years, it remains my favorite month of the year and I still get excited about my birthday. I remember my mother when she was my age and how with each year she got more and more bitter until she hit 60 and quit caring. For me, its just about that one day of the year that’s just supposed to be a great day. From start to finish. I am the QUEEN for one day of the year and this is it! It doesn’t hurt that I absolutely love skulls, ravens, and crows. As it makes me easy to shop for and I’m super appreciative of thoughtful gifts. (Keyword there was thoughtful.)
I already know this is going to be a great day, despite the fact that I’m awake at 2am writing my blog. I’ve been blessed the past couple of weeks with some amazing surprises from Josh and Grace with the promise of another amazing gift coming my way from Rebel. And although, I’m not wearing them in this photo, I received the most incredible gift from Cynthia from Cynful…a pair of jeans named after me. It was just last year that she and I were introduced at my surprise birthday party. It was also that day that she agreed to take me on as a blogger for three months as a favor to my broface, Luis. Since then I’ve taken on more than a blogger role with Cynful and I now consider Cynthia a real friend, even if she is a mean ole German who won’t tell me stuff! *giggles* She’s actually amazing.
This past year has been filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups and I am confident that this next year will be no different. Things are going well for me these days and I’m happy in almost every area of my life. I can say that my Second Life has never been better. I have the most amazing friends and I don’t just mean my cunts (Kess, Tracy, and GraceFace). It goes much deeper than that. There are not enough pics in my profile to brag or touch on them all, nor is even one blog post enough to dedicate to each one of them. I am truly THAT blessed! My birthday wish this year is no secret and its not even for me, despite this being a Blueberry post….hint hint…*eyes Sofia and Blue*…my wish this year is for all of you. It is my wish that this next year is as full of love and laughter as mine has been and continues to be, for there’s no better gift than love and laughter as far as I’m concerned. (Although, my friends have sure given me some pretty fucking amazing presents!) So, happy Friday to you all and given that my birthday is on a Friday this year, that means NEXT Friday is a 13th! Another lucky day for me!!

pretty in pink

wearing:
hair:  pr!tty  – Purrs – [All Color Huds] ULTRARARE (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)
head: CATWA HEAD Tala
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
Dahlia – Abeille – Necklace (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Dahlia – Abeille – Ring (*new* @ FaMESHed)
Blueberry – Kimi Jacket
Blueberry – Kimi Skirt
Phedora ~ Anemoni heels (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: FOXCITY.  On Point Bento Pose Set
anxiety %2200 (*new* @ Industrie)

 

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, Mesh Body Addicts, Scandalize, Second Life, shopping

Beautiful Love

Not just on vacation like now, but no matter where they were or what she wore, he always made her feel beautiful. Today he made her feel especially beautiful when they stopped to admire this Fortress door by saying to her, “The only thing that could make this more beautiful is you posing in front of it, my love.”
She blushed and did as he suggested. She looked at him with wonder in her eyes.
“What is it?” he asked.
“You,” she said, “you make me feel things I never felt before. You make me believe in myself in ways I never thought possible and it frightens me.”
“Don’t be scared, Darling. Embrace the light that is within you. See you reflection in my eyes and you will see what I see,” he snapped the picture then stepped forward, his gaze locked on hers, “You’ll see that you are truly beautiful.”
Looking into his eyes, she saw love…beautiful love.

posing pretty

wearing:
hair
:  Exile – Lush Life (*new* @ C88)
headCATWA HEAD Kathy
bodyMaitreya Mesh Body – Lara
::SG:: Ego Stilleto MESH Nails for Maitreya HAND
Scandalize. Ally (*new* @ MBA)

pose & background:
Exposeur
– Exposeur – Jack’s Shining Fortress (*new* @ Gacha Guardians)