Posted in Chic Moda, Cosmopolitan, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Foxcity, Glam Affair, Maitreya, Phoenix, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL

Fat Farms

Alright, so this has absolutely nothing to do with the picture. Its just one of those weird things that crossed my mind earlier. I was thinking about how they made soap in Fight Club. Ya know, using the fat that had been sucked out of fat people at the liposuction clinics? I suppose you could say my mind wandered a bit far and went into some pretty dark territories, because I thought about how humans might one day be farmed for the use of their body fat. It certainly would give a whole new meaning to fat farms.
I mean, the U.S.A. is well known for its overweight population. We are a very spoiled, young nation. Our government has made no qualms about showing how little they actually care about the 99% of us that are not filthy rich. Regardless of who is in the White House, the poor in this country are treated quite badly. So, its not so far removed to think that our civilization could turn on some apocalyptic dime…turn so far in desperate times that the poor are no longer useful as consumers or workers, but simply for our bodies. The obese farmed for their fat, while those more fit might be used for something equally sinister. I have imagined all sorts of scenarios. Amusement for the rich, like they do in the Purge movies. Sex trafficking…well, that’s as old as time. Perhaps they’ll develop leather from our skin and jewelry from our bones. Its not impossible to imagine as ancient civilizations have done just that. Well, let’s hope that none of that happens outside the imaginations of writers and actors.

chic moda cosmo

head: GENUS Project – Baby Face
SU!– Piercing Set 01
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Rose   @ Uber

:::Phoenix::: Pia Hair @ FaMESHed
ChicModa // Cora Knotted Dress @ Cosmopolitan
AZOURY – Legende Ballet Shoe

pose: FOXCITY. Show Time Bento Pose Set

Posted in Catwa, Collabor88, Lybra, Maitreya, REWIND, Second Life, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Tres Chic

Fantasy

Love is such a complicated thing. Its never as easy as the movies, is it? Meet cute, can’t stop thinking about each other, then another conveniently timed accidental meeting, then proceed through a montage of dating scenes, obligatory sex scenes, a teensy hiccup to show how they handle a fight, and then happily ever after. *sighs* Sadly, reality isn’t quite that easy.

We’ve all been there…a crush on the man that is dating someone you know. Perhaps you don’t know them very well, but she’s certainly nice enough and you’d never hurt her. So, you watch with longing for a while and eventually just let go. Hope is lost. Its not meant to be, she was there first and that’s that, isn’t it? Then some time passes and you find out he’s not with her anymore. You haven’t seen her in years. You don’t even know where she wound up. Oh goddamnit, he’s already dating someone else. *sighs* You don’t know her at all. Hmmm. Oh he’s not happy? That’s too bad. *hangs her head* You watch with a guilty belly hoping that this might be your chance….but your chance to what exactly? It’s been a crush all these years. What do you really know about him? What if he turns out to be a jerk. Is this one of those times the fantasy is better than the reality? Probably. *walks away*

do what's right
If I could force my heart, my ears, my mind
And eyes to get in line
Maybe I’ll find something real
Not a fantasy so divine
Let myself down each time
Let myself down each time

wearing:
hair: DOUX – Shawnte (*new* @ Tres Chic)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
Dahlia – Jennifer – Sunglasses  (*new* @ REWIND)
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair –- MaryJane
AZOURY – Don Jewelry (*new* @ TLC)
(Yummy) Raining Diamonds (*new* @ C88)
LYBRA . MATTIE (*new* @ REWIND)

pose: FOXCITY. Breather VOL2 Animated Pose Set (*new* @ Kustom9)

Posted in Animals, Exploration, FaMESHed, Fashion, Lybra, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL, United Colors

This is the Time

I am hurting so much right now and I’m not ready to write about. I’m not sure I ever will, but until I can write my own words…I give you the words and music of those that I relate to. ♥ Blog credits are below the picture, as always. Thank you in advance for you patience and understanding.

Nothing More – This Is The Time

When did we become these sinking stones?
When did we build this broken home?
Holding each other like ransom notes
Dropping our hearts to grip our brother’s throat
You can’t see because you don’t know
You’re caught below, beneath your own shadow
Stuck inside, half alive
Do you ever stop to ask yourself why?
Close your mind, identify
Do you feel, do you feel?
Do you call this a life?
All you waited for
Drowning just to keep score
We always start with good intentions
But lose ourselves along the way
This is the time that we let it go
These are the words that will take us home
Singing the song that’s inside us all
If we don’t open our eyes we’re walking blind
Anchored in anger, we exile ourselves
Bitter blood builds our prison cell
Darker water now fills our lungs
The depths of our heart have blacked the sun
You can’t see because you don’t know
You’re caught below, beneath your own shadow
Stuck inside, half alive
Do you ever stop to ask yourself why?
Close your mind, identify
Do you feel, do you feel?
Do you call this a life?
All you waited for
Drowning just to keep score
We always start with good intentions
But lose ourselves along the way
This is the time that we let it go
These are the words that will take us home
Singing the song that’s inside us all
If we don’t open our eyes we’re walking blind
Naked we come, naked we leave
Fools we are, to hold tightly
We are the jail, we are the key
We are free, we are free
This is the time that we let it go
These are the words that will take us home
Singing the song that’s inside us all
If we just open our eyes
This is the time that we let it go
This is the pain we are forced to know
Singing the song that’s inside
Inside us all, inside us all
Walking Blind

dreaming of dragons

wearing:
hair:  Tableau Vivant \\ Cindy
horns: Decoy – Dragon Temptress Gacha: #14 Horns Polar
head: CATWA HEAD Lilly
eyebrows: Bossie. alice eyebrows [catwa]
eyes: –SU!- Ekrabetha Eyes Fatpack
tears: CURELESS [+] Dragon Tears (v.1)
nose jewelry: AZOURY – Ange Earring Nose White
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Ears Elf
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: DeeTaleZ *Appliers* CATWA Head “Merrylu” Nordic (*new* @ Uber)
=Zenith=Leather Belt Gloves
LYBRA . XL STILETTO NAILS
UC_Sicrets_outfit (*new* @ FaMESHed)
#1 Dragon Brothers + texture hud {egosumaii} RARE

pose created using AnyPose

location: Winter Moon

Posted in Animals, Events, Fashion, Second Life, shopping

Dear, Venison

I don’t think its a big secret that I’m a bit twisted. I’m the one that makes the “too soon” jokes and the inappropriate jokes. I wear tags that offend the sensitive and have even had display names that got me kicked out of a few PG places. (Thanks, Grace!) I’ve gotten fussed at by more than one club host/owner/boss about my behavior or my language. I make no apologies for who I am except that I do try (for the most part) to respect the rules.

With that said, my friend Grace and I, love love love to tease three of our friends (Posh, Ara, and Tracy) on Facebook whenever they post pictures and videos of cute little animals like pigs and goats. I suppose you could say we troll them, but only in the cutest of ways, really! You see, Grace and I…well, we see pigs…we make bacon jokes…and so it goes with any animal that is deemed edible. So, I could not resist writing up a little post about delicious venison and for those that don’t know…venison is deer meat.

oh-deer3

My dear friend, Kess Crystal, did an epic post the other day called Reindeer Aren’t Just for Christmas and I wanted to reply with a blog post of my own. You’re absolutely right, Kess…they’re also for dinner! *giggles*

The stuff is pretty self explanatory, not going into it a great deal. I just really wanted to do this picture from the moment I saw this headpiece from Azoury and when Kess did her reindeer post…I couldn’t resist.

wearing:
AZOURY – Saul Headwear (*new* @ Tannenbaum)
[White~Widow] Aloft (MadPea Advent)
PHEDORA / Kendra panties / 40C (*new* @ Kinky Event)
PHEDORA / Demonix Boots / 40C (*new* @ Uber)

Posted in Exploration, Fashion, Second Life, Self Reflection, shopping

Almost Wasn’t

At one point earlier this year, I was in a very dark place and if not for a few small miracles and the support of my amazing friends…well, I’m not proud to say it, but I was on the verge of giving up…the ultimate surrender. I went from one dark period of my life into a completely destructive period of my life. My friends watched helplessly, doing their best to support me, encourage me, and keep an eye on me. I know that my friend Tracy worried endlessly. Others were at a complete loss as to what to do with me. I pushed people away and withdrew into the darkest recesses of my mind. I did things I’m not proud of and I did things that were not only mentally unhealthy, but physically dangerous.
almost-wasnt2
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because I recently survived the anniversary of the event that sent me into that downward spiral. I’m approaching a few more anniversaries in the upcoming months and I’m being flooded with some very dark memories. I’m actually hoping for some seriously cold weather this year. There’s something so therapeutic about long walks on a cold night with music blaring in my ears, even if I’m crying or wanting to scream.
But once again, I find myself extremely grateful for the amazing friends I have in Second Life, because despite the distance between us in the real world, they are favorite people and quite honestly, my lifeline. So, with my birthday being so amazing, I’m looking forward to sharing the holidays with them this year and perhaps this year they won’t seem quite so dark. I will not mourn the loss of this past years, nor will I mourn the darkness that consumed me. Instead, I shall embrace the light and dance in it. I hope you can all do the same. ♥
almost-wasnt3
So, about this stuff…as always I’m an event addict and the latest round of TLC has really got some amazing finds….everything but the shoes and the claws in this look is from TLC. You rarely see me do that, because I try to mix and match from multiple events…but as soon as I saw this gorgeous hat, the hair, the necklace, the dress….well, I knew I had the perfect shoes already…and how could I resist? I couldn’t…you’re welcome. *winks*

wearing:
AZOURY – Shinobi Headwear (*NEW* @ The Liaison Collaborative)
hair: NO.MATCH_NO.DARKNESS.  (*NEW* @ The Liaison Collaborative)
EarthStones Spider Cascade Necklace (*NEW* @ The Liaison Collaborative)
:Diamante: Claws
!:Lybra:! The Widow Black (*NEW* @ The Liaison Collaborative)
LRD Pumps Freedom (*NEW* @ Pretty Things)

location: Whole Wheat

Posted in Fashion, Second Life, Self Reflection

F*ck With Myself

“Cause I fuck with myself more than anybody else” ~Banks’ Fuck With Myself

fuck-with-myself

Like so many other people I know, I have a tendency to overthink things. I will read all sorts of scenarios into a situation, especially with my overactive imagination. Let my roommate, lover, friend be late coming home….the later they are, the more tragedies I’ve imagined. Entire movie scenes will play out in my head while waiting. Some aren’t so bad…flat tire, phone call, traffic jam, over slept. Some are horrible..car wreck, arrested, dead. Some are simply preposterous..alien abduction, kidnapping, won the lottery.  Regardless of the severity, the fact is that I will overthink the situation.
I do this with other things, as well. The friend that never checks on me, but wants my attention and accolades? They don’t love me anymore and I’m worth nothing more to them than another audience member. The friend that never IMs me first, but claims they are an introvert and advertises the fact that they’re an introvert all over social media on a constant basis? They’ve outgrown me or found me annoying or simply want to be chased and I’m not worth the effort of meeting half way. The friend that is crazy in love for the first time in forever that’s suddenly lost in a world of romance with her new love? She’s found someone better to spend her time with and no longer needs me.
Mind you, its not always negative thoughts. I can overthink lots of things. The girl that constantly comments strangely on my Facebook posts? She wants me and she wants me bad! The girl that messages me whenever she’s sad, but never when she’s happy? She needs my corny jokes to cheer her up, because I’m the one person not trying solve her problems or fix her.
Please know that I am fully aware that all of the scenarios I’ve listed as examples usually have absolutely nothing at all to do with me. I know the world does not revolve around me and I know that none of us are perfect. I am genuinely happy to my core when I see others happy. There are few things in this world that I’d like more than to see everyone I know and love to find true happiness. Its just that sometimes when I’m alone, these are the types of thoughts I have and if you’ve ever read my blog before you probably know that I’m about as certifiable as they come. You either relate or you don’t.
There are plenty of times that I’m not fucking with myself, especially when I’m doing something creative. And lets be fair, we’ll always be our own worst critics, but every once in a while I do something I’m so proud of that I surprise myself and its these moments that are the clearest most fuckfree moments there are…and yes, I made up a word…fuckfree. So, here’s me wishing you a fuckfree day and if you’ve got a real problem with my language, I do apologize for offending you. However, I do hope that it takes more than a four letter word to offend someone looking at a blog post featuring a mostly naked avatar. ❤

wearing (not much):
AZOURY – Rebelle Mask [White] (*new* @ The Arcade)
Stockholm&Lima:Jump Rope Harness -Natural
AZOURY – Rebelle Heel [White] RARE (*new* @ The Arcade)

pose by Bauhaus Movement