I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain An ounce of peace is all I want for you; will you never call again? And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah, ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
foundation hair: Exile – Violet @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Avalon head skin: [Glam Affair] Meryl Skin [Lelutka EvoX] @ C88 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody Perky body skin: VELOUR: The “Ipanema Body” for Legacy (Chantilly)
I find myself tossing this subject around a lot in my head. People in SL and I guess in RL, too…they all seem to be in a hurry to find a special someone. Some think they are looking for THE special someone, but I’m not so sure. I think from time to time we find A special person that we mesh perfectly with and so it goes, until we grow apart, right? Cuz that’s what happens isn’t it? As I approach my 11yr RL anniversary, I find myself thinking about this a lot. He cheated on me a few years ago, we tried to work through it, but it just didn’t work out. We’re just not IN love anymore. We’re friends, but he’s moved out and we’re just kinda taking our time about the divorce. There are a lot of details being left out here, of course, but the divorce is imminent. He’s living with HER. He seems happy and mostly, I am happy for him. However, there were decisions made a few years into our marriage that are holding us both hostage now.
I’ve never seen an everlasting love in person. I’ve heard about them, but I’ve never witnessed one. Broken homes and families aren’t new. Both of my parents are in their 70s, both of them grew up in broken homes. Hell, my father never knew his father. He knew who he was, but had no interaction with him. I’m not so sure humans were designed to be monogamous. I sometimes think that’s just something society created for whatever reason, but if you look back in history…well, humans have always been a lustful species. So, if you find yourself in love…enjoy it while it last, but don’t spend so much time worrying about if or when it will end. Just assume it will….someday…even if its till death do you part….one of you will go first. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are capable of loving more than one person at a time. We’re just a greedy lot and don’t like to share. I get that…hell, I never had to share as an only child.
Meh, I’m just going to enjoy what’s left of my life the best way I can and I’m going to let myself fall in love or lust or whatever emotional holes I find myself tripping into, because its all of those feelings that remind me that I’m alive. Is it wrong that I’m just ready to live out the rest of my days as a free spirit?