Memories are just where you laid them Drag the waters ’til the depths give up their dead What did you expect to find? Was there something you left behind? Don’t you remember anything I said when I said Don’t fall away and leave me to myself Don’t fall away And leave love bleedin’ in my hands, in my hands again Leave love bleedin’ in my hands, in my hands Love lies bleedin’ Oh, hold me now, I feel contagious Am I the only place that you’ve left to go? She cries her life is like Some movie black and white Dead actors fakin’ lines Over and over and over again she cries
Hit the ground Hit the ground running It’s a one way street With an open end And you never know What lies ahead But I always knew That this was it The signs were lit Oh I always knew I’m gonna hit the ground running Hit the ground running Only waiting for the marching drums I’ll be ready when the morning comes I’m gonna hit the ground running Hit the ground running Only waiting for the marching drums I’ll be ready when the morning comes I’m an overdrive Go to play offense And I won’t look back There be no regrets
So, this picture took me on a wild ride. I knew as soon as I saw this big beautiful beast what kind of photo I wanted to take. I knew exactly where. What I didn’t know was what song I’d put with it or what I would write about. I could write about how beautiful the sim is at Burrow Co. I could write about how awesome the pets at Rezz Room are, but I feel like I’ve done both of those things in the past. After taking the picture, I was thinking, “Isn’t there a song about a dog day afternoon?” So, off to YouTube, I went. What I discovered is that no, its not a song, its a movie! It’s an Al Pacino movie! AND I’ve never seen it! Then I realized how old the movie was and took a moment to mourn my youth. That movie is almost 50yrs old. *sighs* Turns out, its based on a true story, too. My afternoon was quickly filled with Al Pacino and learning about the true story. The movie was really good, of course. However, that movie has absolutely nothing to do with my photo. So, here we have it…another post with no song. *gasps* I know, y’all gonna have to start reading again if this continues! *laughs* p.s. I added a trailer link for you, in case you wanted to know about the movie.
hair: Foxy – Sahara Hair @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Avalon Head 3.0 @ Skin Fair body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.4) skin: [Glam Affair] Nina Skin [Lelutka EvoX] @ UBER Glam Affair – New Body Line RE Sublime Nose Piercing N9
TRIGGERED – Moon Craft Earrings Demon Doll – Razor Baby Necklace (Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection hive // pink drink on the go . kitty @ Kustom9 Apl.Blossom Nicole @ N21 [Enchante’] – Ressie Boots
pose: Le Poppycock Live Free B location: Burrow Co.
Ok, so this is a bit off and has absolutely nothing to do with the photo, but since I am prone to sharing my real life or lackthereof here, I figure I might as well share this, too. However, this could be a trigger for some. If you are easily triggered by suicide topics, please have someone else read it first to determine whether or not you should. I’m doing this for me. These are my reasons: 1. to hold myself accountable 2. cuz I think the convo is cute 3. cuz it shows how quickly my state of mind changes So, what I’m going to do is just copy a conversation between myself and my wifey, Ghoulina Waffles, cuz it pretty much sums things up. Please don’t go nuts and call for welfare checks, I’m fine and I have an appt with my therapist in the morning.
9:24am Ghoulie: Hope your stint at XXXXXX went okay Sady: girl, I couldn’t sleep before my shift I just laid in bed for hours contemplating suicide then after my shift, I passed the fuck out and had a nightmare about a failed suicide attempt Ghoulie: Jesus wammen Sady: was a rad attempt fail tho rofl Ghoulie: you are not allowed to think of suicide when your wifey is this pretty https://flic.kr/p/2kENqCT oh? how’s that? Sady: oooh, I tried to race my car into a busy intersection, but ended up launching my car over it instead, but also flipping it mid way so I was over the intersection upside down screaming “fuck yeah” out the window before turning right side up and crashing into a building but in my dream, my car was so sturdy it protected me, so I just had a concussion some scratches and bruises and a bunch of teenagers decided I was a worthy cause and all came to visit me and then it was kinda over and a giant storm came and mom was passed out on the couch so I sat and watched this amazing storm outside when it was over we went to target to buy candy lmao Ghoulie: WTF, so, you had an action film for a suicide attempt Sady: ooh and at the store there were all these candy bar flavored pop tart bites….they were new and I was mad that they didn’t have a grab bag with all the flavors especially since I didn’t want a whole bag of milky way pop tarts lmao Ghoulie: I like you, but you’re crazy (said with a gif) Sady: note to self, do not use car in suicide attempt, cuz if it fails, you only killed your car Ghoulie: No suicide attempts, okay? Sady: we’ll see Ghoulie: your body is already like evil hands rubbing together “Teeheehee we got this” Sady: RIGHT??? Ghoulie: it’s like surprise suicide, you just can’t plan it Sady: pretty much…lol
….then we trailed off to discuss our new Linden Labs stilt homes and other things
Again, I repeat, I’m fine now. I was just talking to one of my closest friends. She gets me on a level that most don’t and she knows when to take me seriously, when to worry, etc. She’s not worried and you shouldn’t be either. This is not a cry for help, but just a glimpse into my BPD brain. As my friend, Tracy Redangel, once said, “Depression lies.” I know this and I would not act on a suicidal impulse. Trust that I know myself far better than most and I will be discussing my thoughts with my new therapist tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I have too much work to do and too many people counting on me to just up and dip out! I PROMISE.
hair: [monso] Mabel Hair @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC – Lillian
[ rD ] – Rayna Cuff & Earrings @ TLC Rainbow Sundae Callie Bracelet @ TLC MY BAGS by Mila Blauvelt My Naughty RED hive // cold brew coffee to go . Apl.Blossom Genesis @ TLC
This whole thing started so that fathers could sell daughters like property But I never had a father, and I couldn’t be his daughter, so lucky me The only thing I’m sellin’ are songs But nobody buys those no more Marriage is a contract ’cause they know that it’s another liability You cut through my legs, through my heart just to get another piece of me (piece of me) The only thing I’m servin’ are facts But nobody wants those no moreHey See, the thing about forever Is that it’s a fucking lie But I’ll love you for tonight Say with time that it gets better And that’s such a fucking lie But I’ll love you for tonight, oh
left: TRUTH Unravel LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5 [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) #3 — PUMEC – NADYA – JANUARY — LELUTKA x BOM @ Epiphany
(Yummy) Daisy Ring Collection @ C88 (Yummy) The Dreamers Set @ Uber Seniha. Elnora Set @ Uber Seniha. Elnora Top Seniha. Elnora Belt Seniha. Elnora Jeans
right: DOUX – Olga hairstyle LeLUTKA Ryn Head 2.0 Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V5.3 Glam Affair – Lelutka Applier – Yuki
KraftWork Carmel Porch Set @ FaMESHedFeb 1st KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Armchair KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Coffee Table KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Decor Clutter Tray KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Love Seat with Blanket KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Love Wood Frame KraftWork Carmel Porch Set . Small Runner Rug Beige
So here’s to you and here’s to when the day gets long Go ahead, I understand if you wanna take a load off I don’t drink But sometimes I need a stiff drink Sipping from a highball glass Let the world fade away Yeah, and I don’t smoke But sometimes I need a long drag Yeah, I know it might sound bad But sometimes I need a, sometimes I need a When the day gets long When the work’s all done When the sun sets When you need to forget Grab that cup, mmm Fill it up Sip it slow And let it all go Ooh
left: TRUTH Unravel LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5 [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) — PUMEC – JADWIGA – LELUTKA x BOM
(Yummy) Daisy Ring Collection @ C88 EarthStones Love Me Knot Set Seniha. Mareli Sweater @ Equal10 -Pixicat- Oakley Tights @ Anthem
These brick walls are tumbling down Hitting me on the head My whole world is crumbling down I don’t know how to act I rode the wave ’till it crashed down Maybe I should leave this sad town I rode the wave ’till it crashed down Nothing is holding me back now And all these bright lights They got me going blind And all these bright lights They got me losing my mind
DOUX – Aluna hairstyle @ TresChic LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5 [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) — PUMEC – JADWIGA – LELUTKA x BOM
I have yet to understand why so many people want to tear each other down. Life is not a competition, no one gets out alive and nothing we acquire in this life is going with us when we leave. So, why would anyone make it their mission to seek and destroy others? What is there to gain in doing that? I mean, I know misery loves company, but why would anyone want to embrace that misery by sharing it with others or causing it? There’s nothing good to gain from that…absolutely nothing. The only thing I can imagine that allows people to behave like this is that they lack that part of the human psyche that most of us possess…that part that seeks happiness for ourselves, as well as other people. When someone lacks that empathy and compassion, they are left with a giant hole. That hole is what religious people like to call evil, but I don’t believe in evil. I believe that people are innately good….unless they are missing that inner light. They are lacking goodness. They might fake it….cuz that’s what sociopaths often do, but deep down…they just don’t have it in them be truly good. I cannot truly imagine what that must be like, but it sounds absolutely horrible. Sadly, its the only thing that makes sense to me as to why people truly want to tear one another down. I would much rather see us all root for each other and watch each other grow.
You never really know where tidbits of inspiration will come from….or wisdom, for that matter. Year ago, I was complaining about days and days of rain. My friend smiled and said, “Rain makes things grow.” I have never forgotten those words or that moment. This morning, I was watching a sitcom and this lady was freaking out because she was worried about this and worried about that. She was taking an inventory of all the things she had lost over the years. Of course, someone told her to look at everything she has to be grateful for. Someone else came along and told her, “Be happy that you have a lot to lose.” This got to me, cuz I took a look around at all that I have and easily it could be lost. I decided to give my gratitude list a make over to include all the things I’d hate to lose and be happy that I have so very much to lose. I think it would do a lot of people some good to look at things this way. So, instead of focusing on the shit that’s gone wrong or the things you’ve already lost…let’s be happy that you have more to lose and work on being grateful for what we still have. ♥