Wow! It has been quite a week. It has been so crazy! So, I inherited TLC! If you don’t know what that is…uhm, shame on you, but its one of the oldest shopping events on the grid. Anyway, I finally got it open and its an amazing round…of course, only a few things are featured in this post, cuz I took this picture days ago. Anyway, I’m hoping to get lots more pictures and posts done now. I’ll be featuring lots of goodies from TLC and Bloom in the next few days, so keep an eye out. In the meantime, y’all know I love me some Seniha…and this is her offering for Equal10, one of my favorite events!
hair: DOUX – Indigo hairstyle @ TresChic head: LeLUTKA Avalon Head 3.0 @ Skin Fair body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.4) skin: [Glam Affair] Rika Skin [Lelutka EvoX] @ Skin Fair Glam Affair – New Body Line
Rainbow Sundae Morgan Earrings @ TLC Mui. Arrival of Spring – Mouth @ TLC (Yummy) Aaliyah Ring Collection @ Uber Seniha. Martina Set @ Equal10 (shirt, shorts, & boots)
Ok, so this is a bit off and has absolutely nothing to do with the photo, but since I am prone to sharing my real life or lackthereof here, I figure I might as well share this, too. However, this could be a trigger for some. If you are easily triggered by suicide topics, please have someone else read it first to determine whether or not you should. I’m doing this for me. These are my reasons: 1. to hold myself accountable 2. cuz I think the convo is cute 3. cuz it shows how quickly my state of mind changes So, what I’m going to do is just copy a conversation between myself and my wifey, Ghoulina Waffles, cuz it pretty much sums things up. Please don’t go nuts and call for welfare checks, I’m fine and I have an appt with my therapist in the morning.
9:24am Ghoulie: Hope your stint at XXXXXX went okay Sady: girl, I couldn’t sleep before my shift I just laid in bed for hours contemplating suicide then after my shift, I passed the fuck out and had a nightmare about a failed suicide attempt Ghoulie: Jesus wammen Sady: was a rad attempt fail tho rofl Ghoulie: you are not allowed to think of suicide when your wifey is this pretty https://flic.kr/p/2kENqCT oh? how’s that? Sady: oooh, I tried to race my car into a busy intersection, but ended up launching my car over it instead, but also flipping it mid way so I was over the intersection upside down screaming “fuck yeah” out the window before turning right side up and crashing into a building but in my dream, my car was so sturdy it protected me, so I just had a concussion some scratches and bruises and a bunch of teenagers decided I was a worthy cause and all came to visit me and then it was kinda over and a giant storm came and mom was passed out on the couch so I sat and watched this amazing storm outside when it was over we went to target to buy candy lmao Ghoulie: WTF, so, you had an action film for a suicide attempt Sady: ooh and at the store there were all these candy bar flavored pop tart bites….they were new and I was mad that they didn’t have a grab bag with all the flavors especially since I didn’t want a whole bag of milky way pop tarts lmao Ghoulie: I like you, but you’re crazy (said with a gif) Sady: note to self, do not use car in suicide attempt, cuz if it fails, you only killed your car Ghoulie: No suicide attempts, okay? Sady: we’ll see Ghoulie: your body is already like evil hands rubbing together “Teeheehee we got this” Sady: RIGHT??? Ghoulie: it’s like surprise suicide, you just can’t plan it Sady: pretty much…lol
….then we trailed off to discuss our new Linden Labs stilt homes and other things
Again, I repeat, I’m fine now. I was just talking to one of my closest friends. She gets me on a level that most don’t and she knows when to take me seriously, when to worry, etc. She’s not worried and you shouldn’t be either. This is not a cry for help, but just a glimpse into my BPD brain. As my friend, Tracy Redangel, once said, “Depression lies.” I know this and I would not act on a suicidal impulse. Trust that I know myself far better than most and I will be discussing my thoughts with my new therapist tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I have too much work to do and too many people counting on me to just up and dip out! I PROMISE.
hair: [monso] Mabel Hair @ C88 head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC – Lillian
[ rD ] – Rayna Cuff & Earrings @ TLC Rainbow Sundae Callie Bracelet @ TLC MY BAGS by Mila Blauvelt My Naughty RED hive // cold brew coffee to go . Apl.Blossom Genesis @ TLC
If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same The world is spinning but only in gray If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same The world is spinning but only in gray Somebody shine a light I’m frozen by the fear in me Somebody make me feel alive And shatter me So cut me from the line Dizzy, spinning endlessly Somebody make me feel alive And shatter me
I couldn’t sleep last night You were chasing the birds ’till the beast caught your eye I couldn’t sleep last night How you look like an angel It’s burnt in my mind I can’t feel anything the morning after you I can’t tell anyone the morning after you And I hope you sleep with a merry gold I hope you win it this time And I pray you don’t fear the animals I’ll save you, I promise this time
hair: TRUTH Calamity head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC – Lillian
I was hanging out with my amazing friends, Maria & Jason, when I got my hands on these gorgeous new sphynx cats from Rezz Room. I was squealing with delight, because…well…CATS! Jason started laughing and then predicted that I would be doing a post with a lot of cats. Started calling me the cat lady. So, in order to prove him wrong, I limited myself to only three. See? I have some self control, Jason! *laughs*
I am so very blessed to have these two amazing people in my life. So, I want to make sure they know how much I appreciate them both. ♥
hair: Tableau Vivant // Vale hair @ Kustom9 head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC – Lillian
(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88 Seniha. Jackie Set @ Access Seniha. Jackie Sweater Seniha. Jackie Top Seniha. Jackie Pants friday – Esme Sneakers @ C88
I am so impulsive to a fault I want the opposite of what I got The second I get bored, I switch it up Makin’ bad decisions, based on temporary thoughts I know they say there’s greener grass For me it’s never about that The second I get bored, I switch it up Makin’ bad decisions, based on temporary thoughts My favorite hobby, self-sabotage Can’t never seem to make my mind up Change my opinion more than my socks Let me tell you about the time I took my friend out the friend zone ‘Cause I felt so sad, sleepin’ alone Then I put him right back, just like that ‘Cause I missed bein’ by myself
hair: Stealthic – Searching @ Access head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: PUMEC – Lillian *NEW*
Orsini Jewelry CAMILLE Set Jewely @ Access (Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88 Cynful Amour Babydoll @ Equal10
These brick walls are tumbling down Hitting me on the head My whole world is crumbling down I don’t know how to act I rode the wave ’till it crashed down Maybe I should leave this sad town I rode the wave ’till it crashed down Nothing is holding me back now And all these bright lights They got me going blind And all these bright lights They got me losing my mind
DOUX – Aluna hairstyle @ TresChic LeLUTKA Lilly Head 2.5 [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) — PUMEC – JADWIGA – LELUTKA x BOM
Serenity Style– Blue Winter Entry Set @ TLC Serenity Style- Blue Winter Table Serenity Style- Blue Winter Picture Serenity Style- Blue Winter Roses Vases Serenity Style- Blue Winter Books Serenity Style- Blue Winter Cushions
Have you ever just wanted to get in you car and drive with no destination in mind? I have and I’ve done it more than once. Of course, the problem with that is….eventually you have to stop for gas and by that time, you’re God knows where. Fortunately, there’s GPS on most phones these days. If you’re lucky you’ve got cell service wherever you’ve landed and can find your way home. Most of us have responsibilities and loved ones that simply don’t allow us to do such a thing without hurting someone. Annnd, let’s be fair, the whole idea loses it’s appeal if you have to call and explain to someone that you’re trying to run away, but not forever…you’ll be back…eventually… Yeah, that goes over like a ton of bricks. Trust me, I tried that way. You have to explain to someone why you feel the need to do this and by the time you’re done explaining it. Yeah, the whole idea is just ruined. Don’t even get me started on the fact that when this idea strikes, you’re never prepared and packing a bag takes so much away from the spontaneity. I guess as we grow older and…*grumbles*…more mature. Ugh. We tend to realize what a mess can be made from a random road trip to nowhere. When I was younger and didn’t depend quite so much on medications, this was something I’d do. There were no cell phones (yes, I’m that old, fuck off) and by the time you stopped to get gas, you could justify not calling on the lack of working payphones.
hair: DOUX – Sixty Nine hairstyle @ Level head: LeLUTKA Lily Head 2.5 body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3) skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Emilia @ UBER
AvaWay LETTER Necklaces Set @ FaMESHed (Yummy) Eliza Ring Collection @ C88