“We are just like the waves that flow back and forth
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and you’re there to save me
And I wanna thank you with all of my heart
It’s a brand new start
A dream come true
~ Miley Cyrus – Malibu
Most of the time, I just post the lyrics and leave it at that. However, this time, I’m going to explain a little bit, because I think most people think of this song as a love song. It may have been written as one. I don’t know. What I do know, is that it isn’t a love song in the traditional sense, to me. For me, it is a song filled with metaphors and its from my heart to my friends in Second Life. My friends in this crazy virtual world have pulled me back from the edge so many times and ask nothing in return. I’m not going to break it down by stanza or line, but that’s the gist of where I’m coming from by posting this song.
I’ve decided to write about this here rather than Facebook, for the simple reason that I don’t want 100 notifications about silly comments & arguments. All of that is welcome here, but my computer won’t ding every time someone does it here…lol. So, here’s the tea:
Every so often I come across these posts where someone is complaining about all the negativity and drama on their timeline. Quite regularly these posts are accompanied by requests or challenges to post something positive. I always wonder who these people are friends with on Facebook and why they continue to follow such Debbie Downers? I’ll be honest, the posts complaining about other posts are usually the most negative things I see. Not to mention that on the rare occasion that I do come across something negative, its usually those people fussing about someone else. So, I wonder if we run in completely different circles or they’re completely missing someone’s sense of humor. Perhaps they’re overly sensitive or fail to realize they have the power to unfollow negative people. Or maybe they forgot that on Facebook, we can post whatever we want (except nudes, cuz God forbid)…and if someone doesn’t like it…well, let’s loop back around to that unfollow option. I don’t know if I’m the only one that experiences this, but it seems to pop up at least once a week for me.
With that said, I’ll tell you what I see on my timeline almost daily. I see lots and lots of gorgeous photos done by bloggers from across the grid. I see ads from amazing designers and I see jokes from all walks of life. I don’t know exactly when memes became a thing, but I sure do enjoy them. So, here’s what I suggest: If you find your timeline to be full of negativity, then unfollow those people and make room for the fun stuff, cuz there’s plenty of it out there without you having to ask or challenge people from your status. All that does is make you look like one of the negative nancies…and I’m going to assume that you don’t want that.
“To wait for someone else, or to expect someone else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension.” ~ Kathleen Tierney Andrus
Do you surrender your desires in an effort to please others thinking: Once my kids finish school, I’ll be able to focus on what I want; maybe I’ll get that promotion if I just work harder and put in extra time; my parents will finally accept my major if I just go to the school they picked; and so on.
But do changes in other people really make things better for you? If you believe that, then you should take a good hard look outward, instead of inward, for your happiness. Don’t allow yourself to be as powerless as a kickball at recess.
You can create your own peaceful shelter when you proceed through your life by setting boundaries not only for yourself, but for those you interact with. There’s no need to wait for your kid(s) to finish school to focus on your needs. You don’t need to work yourself to the bone be rewarded. And you don’t have to compromise your desires in order to please your parents. Just figure out what makes you happy. Apply for that promotion without pushing yourself so hard. Stop waiting for other people to provide what you need and desire. It’s up to you to seize the day and make it your bitch.
hair: [RA] Andrea Hair (Recolor)
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: #20 [PUMEC] – MIA – JUNE (*new* @ Epiphany)
“I said hey you, with your world painted blue
I said fuck you, I was the brightest light you ever knew”
~ Kailee Morgue – F**k U
I’ve wasted so much of my life giving the best parts of me to people who only pretend to appreciate it, but in the end they never do. They prove time and time again that they are just another liar…another disappointment…another fake friend…another user. I’m over that now. I’m going to live my life for me and only me going forward. Its time for me to take my life back and I’m done bowing down before some undeserving asshat.
I’m always saying that I do what I want, but apparently what I wanted was to sell my soul just to hear two words that now ring through my ears like a bitter lie and the three words? Well, I’m not even going there. I’m pissed off and I’m tired of being disrespected. I’m tired of disrespecting myself. Now is the time for my “friends” to decide if they are real or not, because I’m done dealing with fake people and liars just for the sake of someone else. Those of you out there talking shit behind my back? Knock yourselves out. Your hate gives me power I never sought, but if your feelings for me are that strong…well, as the song says, “F**k U!”
Oh and before you fuckers get all paranoid about who is telling what? Well, its like this…I am an energy reader and I feed off energy like a vampire. So, when your energy is bitter and makes me sick to my stomach, I know what you’re about. I see through you and your lies. Oh and you lost out on one of the best friends you could’ve ever had. And ya know what? If you even THINK that I’m talking to/about you, then I damn sure am or you wouldn’t even think that.
I’ve made this conscious decision not to let this year get the best of me, but the truth is I battle with depression and even more so in the last few years. My friend, Tracy, told me one of the most profound statements about depression that has ever stuck with me. She said, “Depression lies.” I really analyzed that statement or perhaps my demons did in the hopes they could prove it untrue. In my effort to deny my depression too much power, I’ve resorted to sleep. Though sleep often eludes me, there are certain combinations of medications that will knock me out for hours on end. Obviously, I cannot take these medications daily for regular sleep, or I’d be full blown addicted in no time. However, when my view of everything in the world is tainted by depression and cynicism, I know its time to avoid people and turn my back on the world. I know I need to shut down. Let my demons have my dreams. I can wake up from those. I can’t always shake the thoughts the demons plant. Today was one of those days. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and pain and envy…self-doubt…self-pity…self-loathing. The list goes on and on. Today was a day like that. It can be paralyzing which is just another reason why its easier to sleep than battle my demons. Today, my only defense was shutting down and hiding under my blankets. I’m recharged now and ready to fight back, wish me luck. ♥
Watching YouTube videos in the morning with a nice bowl of weedies, it just gets the day off to a great start. That fresh cup of tea or coffee, freshly sticky packed bowl, and a whole day to yourself. It’s not something I do very often, but on the rare occasion that I do, it really is quite special. Listen to what YOU want, sleep, eat….or don’t…go outside…do whatever you want…So, if you’ve never waked and baked, I highly recommend it…at least once. Take a day to yourself and just let go…let your mind travel to places you never imagined it could go.
This place didn’t have an extensive menu, but what they did have was simply delicious. It was a food truck permanently parked on a small peninsula off the coast of Achill Island What she loved the most was that they has hooked up small electric heaters between all the tables so even on a cool day like today, you could eat outdoor and be comfortable. She was especially grateful for this today as she planned to meet her dear friend, Grace, for lunch. It had been far too long since they had sat down and dished.
“Now if we’re talking body
Put it on me
If you love me right
We fuck for life
On and on and on
Now if we’re talking body
You got a perfect one
So put it on me
Swear it won’t take you long
If you love me right
We fuck for life
On and on and on”
~ Tove Lo – Talking Body
After doing some minimal research on the Googlenets, I discovered that the average cost of one therapy session can range between $75-$200. That’s one hour to tell my problems to a stranger that’s going to turn around and ask me how does that make me feel? Nah, I’ll take my $200 for some shopping, because nothing makes me feel better than some retail therapy. I’ll tell my problems to the beautician, the nail girl, or the bartender like a normal person. *giggles*