Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative

a glimpse into my BPD brain

Ok, so this is a bit off and has absolutely nothing to do with the photo, but since I am prone to sharing my real life or lackthereof here, I figure I might as well share this, too. However, this could be a trigger for some. If you are easily triggered by suicide topics, please have someone else read it first to determine whether or not you should. I’m doing this for me. These are my reasons: 1. to hold myself accountable 2. cuz I think the convo is cute 3. cuz it shows how quickly my state of mind changes
So, what I’m going to do is just copy a conversation between myself and my wifey, Ghoulina Waffles, cuz it pretty much sums things up. Please don’t go nuts and call for welfare checks, I’m fine and I have an appt with my therapist in the morning.

9:24am
Ghoulie: Hope your stint at XXXXXX went okay
Sady: girl, I couldn’t sleep before my shift
I just laid in bed for hours contemplating suicide
then after my shift, I passed the fuck out
and had a nightmare about a failed suicide attempt
Ghoulie: Jesus wammen
Sady: was a rad attempt fail tho
rofl
Ghoulie: you are not allowed to think of suicide when your wifey is this pretty https://flic.kr/p/2kENqCT
oh?
how’s that?
Sady: oooh, I tried to race my car into a busy intersection, but ended up launching my car over it instead, but also flipping it mid way so I was over the intersection upside down screaming “fuck yeah” out the window before turning right side up and crashing into a building
but in my dream, my car was so sturdy it protected me, so I just had a concussion some scratches and bruises
and a bunch of teenagers decided I was a worthy cause and all came to visit me
and then it was kinda over and a giant storm came and mom was passed out on the couch so I sat and watched this amazing storm outside
when it was over we went to target to buy candy
lmao
Ghoulie: WTF, so, you had an action film for a suicide attempt
Sady: ooh and at the store there were all these candy bar flavored pop tart bites….they were new and I was mad that they didn’t have a grab bag with all the flavors
especially since I didn’t want a whole bag of milky way pop tarts
lmao
Ghoulie: I like you, but you’re crazy (said with a gif)
Sady: note to self, do not use car in suicide attempt, cuz if it fails, you only killed your car
Ghoulie: No suicide attempts, okay?
Sady: we’ll see
Ghoulie: your body is already like evil hands rubbing together “Teeheehee we got this”
Sady: RIGHT???
Ghoulie: it’s like surprise suicide, you just can’t plan it
Sady: pretty much…lol

….then we trailed off to discuss our new Linden Labs stilt homes and other things

Again, I repeat, I’m fine now. I was just talking to one of my closest friends. She gets me on a level that most don’t and she knows when to take me seriously, when to worry, etc. She’s not worried and you shouldn’t be either. This is not a cry for help, but just a glimpse into my BPD brain. As my friend, Tracy Redangel, once said, “Depression lies.” I know this and I would not act on a suicidal impulse. Trust that I know myself far better than most and I will be discussing my thoughts with my new therapist tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I have too much work to do and too many people counting on me to just up and dip out! I PROMISE.

a glimpse into my BPD brain

hair: [monso] Mabel Hair @ C88
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

[ rD ] – Rayna Cuff & Earrings @ TLC
Rainbow Sundae Callie Bracelet @ TLC
MY BAGS by Mila Blauvelt My Naughty RED
hive // cold brew coffee to go .
Apl.Blossom Genesis @ TLC

pose: an lar [poses] The Sandra Series @ TLC

TROPIX // Time Music BackDrop 01 @ Access

Posted in Events, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative, {le fil casse}

Shatter me

If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly
There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive
I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
If I break the glass, then I’ll have to fly
There’s no one to catch me if I take a dive
I’m scared of changing, the days stay the same
The world is spinning but only in gray
Somebody shine a light
I’m frozen by the fear in me
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me
So cut me from the line
Dizzy, spinning endlessly
Somebody make me feel alive
And shatter me

Shatter Me

hair: Stealthic – Searching @ Access
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian
tattoo: Juna: Madeleine tattoo @ The Liaison Collaborative

{le fil casse} Nivea Fishnet Set

pose: :LW: Bento Poses – Spring Feelings @ TLC

CELESTE – Moon Gate – Portal @ TLC
CELESTE – Gentle Flowers – Standard – Blue @ TLC

Posted in Animals, Cosmopolitan, Events, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, The Liaison Collaborative

The morning after

I couldn’t sleep last night
You were chasing the birds ’till the beast caught your eye
I couldn’t sleep last night
How you look like an angel
It’s burnt in my mind
I can’t feel anything the morning after you
I can’t tell anyone the morning after you
And I hope you sleep with a merry gold
I hope you win it this time
And I pray you don’t fear the animals
I’ll save you, I promise this time

The morning after

hair: TRUTH Calamity
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

Badwolf – Aeternitas Bracelets @ The Liaison Collaborative
Seniha. Sienna Dress @ Cosmopolitan
(AMD) LoungeWear Socks

pose: Diversion – Wine O’Clock Poses

backdrop: Party Was Here RARE – Damn Night – The Bearded Guy @ ManCave

[Rezz Room] Sphynx Animesh @ ManCave

..::THOR::.. Breakfast Tray ULTRARARE @ Kustom9
..::THOR::.. Morning News @ Kustom9

Posted in DOUX, Events, Fashion, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, poses, Second Life, Shiny Shabby, shopping, skin, {le fil casse}

She was…

“She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed you to suffer for it.”
― Charles Bukowski, Factotum

Here’s a link to flickr for a better view, but its a moderate setting. So, you’ll need to have an account in oter to see it. 😉
https://www.flickr.com/photos/sadystikasabretooth/50968391828/in/photostream/

hair: DOUX – Venezia hairstyle
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA NEXT PLEASE COLLECTION #3
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA NEXT PLEASE COLLECTION #6
{le fil casse} Sierra Mesh Set @ Kustom9

pose: Diversion – Serenity – Pose Set @ Shiny Shabby

backdrop: MINIMAL – Group Gift July 2019 v1

Posted in Chic Moda, DOUX, Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, Maitreya, poses, Second Life, shopping, skin, vinyl

Get right to it

If you want it, we can get right to it
Mix some vodka with some OJ
Skip the mornin’ and let’s get right to it
Put your hands on my body
Me and my friends poppin’
No we don’t need no man to be gettin’ on down
Know how I like it
Like it
Don’t need no excuse to be going this ham
We’re bumping KC and the Sunshine Band
That’s the way I like it
Like it
Sippin’ so much Goose that you could call it geese
Sippin’ so much Goose that you could call it geese
Feel like I can fly when you are next to me
Feel like I can fly when you are next to me

Get right to it

left:
hair: DOUX – Tegan hairstyle
head: LeLUTKA Ryn Head 2.0
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V5.3
skin: [Glam Affair] Yuki

VINYL – Love is Blind Top Pak TSS Leather Red

right:
hair: tram K0202 hair @ Kustom9
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

ChicModa // Amanda Crop Cami & Bloomers

Ladybird. // Splatter worn by both

poses: – space cadet – paintin’ 1 set
**includes paint brushes, palette, & easel

backdrop: MINIMAL – September Group Gift 2020

Atelier Burgundy . Wall Art Clutter @ Equal10
Atelier Burgundy . Wall Art Clutter I . Steel
Atelier Burgundy . Wall Art Clutter IIb . Steel
Atelier Burgundy . Wall Art Clutter IIa . Steel
Atelier Burgundy . Wall Art Clutter III . Steel

Posted in Animals, Apple Fall, Collabor88, Events, Fashion, fri.day, Home Decor, Kustom9, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative

It’s not THAT many cats, Jason

I was hanging out with my amazing friends, Maria & Jason, when I got my hands on these gorgeous new sphynx cats from Rezz Room. I was squealing with delight, because…well…CATS! Jason started laughing and then predicted that I would be doing a post with a lot of cats. Started calling me the cat lady. So, in order to prove him wrong, I limited myself to only three. See? I have some self control, Jason! *laughs*

I am so very blessed to have these two amazing people in my life. So, I want to make sure they know how much I appreciate them both. ♥

It’s not THAT many cats, Jason

hair: Tableau Vivant // Vale hair @ Kustom9
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
eyes: AG. Mercury Eyes @ Access
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian

(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88
Seniha. Jackie Set @ Access
Seniha. Jackie Sweater
Seniha. Jackie Top
Seniha. Jackie Pants

friday – Esme Sneakers @ C88

[Rezz Room] Box Sphynx Cat Animesh @ Man Cave

pose: GP Smoke 13

MINIMAL – Natural Nude Backdrop III Curtains @ Kustom9

Concept} 07.Bring. Sofa Adult. RARE @ Kustom9

Pitaya – Cushion Collection Part I WHITE @ TLC
Pitaya – Cushion Collection Part I MUSTARD @ TLC
Pitaya – Cushion Collection Part I GREEN @ TLC

Ariskea [Belle] Forever Roses [Peach] @ TLC

Soul2Soul. Moritz Bronze Sculpture @ TLC
Soul2Soul. Moritz Books @ TLC
Soul2Soul. Moritz Coffee Table -Fatpack @ TLC
Soul2Soul. Moritz Bronze Wall Art (Bonus) @ TLC

Apple Fall Chamise Occasional Table – Aged Oak
Apple Fall Pampas Grass
Apple Fall Bohemian Coffee Press (Group Gift)
Apple Fall Latte Decor (Group Gift)

Posted in Collabor88, Cynful, Events, Fashion, Home Decor, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, skin, The Liaison Collaborative

Makin’ bad decisions

I am so impulsive to a fault
I want the opposite of what I got
The second I get bored, I switch it up
Makin’ bad decisions, based on temporary thoughts
I know they say there’s greener grass
For me it’s never about that
The second I get bored, I switch it up
Makin’ bad decisions, based on temporary thoughts
My favorite hobby, self-sabotage
Can’t never seem to make my mind up
Change my opinion more than my socks
Let me tell you about the time I took my friend out the friend zone
‘Cause I felt so sad, sleepin’ alone
Then I put him right back, just like that
‘Cause I missed bein’ by myself

Makin' bad decisions

hair: Stealthic – Searching @ Access
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: PUMEC – Lillian *NEW*

Orsini Jewelry CAMILLE Set Jewely @ Access
(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88
Cynful Amour Babydoll @ Equal10

pose: :LW: Bento Poses – Breakfast in Bed, mirror

KraftWork French Wall Panels @ The Liaison Collaborative
KraftWork Canopy Linen Bed
KraftWork Breakfast in Bed . Rustic
KraftWork Montmartre Dining Set . Candle Short

Atelier Burgundy + KraftWork Tate Set . Wide Square Rug

Fancy Decor: Fuck Throw Pillow

MudHoney Liza Adult Toy Box

[Rezz Room] Bengal Cat Sleep

floorplan hanging candle v1 / silver

dust bunny . potted rubber tree

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, fri.day, Glam Affair, Legacy, Lelutka

There must be somethin’ wrong with me

All day starin’ at the ceilin’ makin’
Friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices tellin’ me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin’
Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why
But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell
But stay a while and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know, right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me
I’m talkin’ to myself in public, dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talkin’ about me
I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think
There must be somethin’ wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinkin’,
somehow I’ve lost my mind

There must be somethin' wrong with me

hair: Stealthic – Searching @ Access
head: LeLUTKA Fleur Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Zora @ C88

earrings: #MG – Kaleidoscope – #03
(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88
Seniha. Loana Set @ Equal10
friday – Esme Sneakers @ C88

pose: Diversion – Wine O’Clock Poses

backdrop: .PALETO.Backdrop:.wild night @ Equal10

No59 F-class Coffee machine @ Equal10

Posted in Collabor88, Events, Fashion, Glam Affair, Legacy, Lelutka, poses, Second Life, shopping

I know how to scream out the words

I’ll take it nice and slow
Feeling good on my own without you, yeah
Got me speaking in tongues
The beautiful, it comes without you, yeah
I’m gonna put my body first
And love me so hard ’til it hurts
I know how to scream out the words
Scream the words
I love me!
Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else

I know how to scream out the words

hair: Tableau Vivant // Jinny hair @ C88
head: LeLUTKA Fleur Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka Skin – Zora @ C88

MG – Earrings – Celeste’s Sparkly Heart @ C88
MG – Necklace – Barcelona Boho
(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88
Seniha. Patrice @ Orly

pose: Lyrium. Mell Static & Breathing + Fingers Series @ Access

backdrop: K&S – // Secret Garden. Backdrop @ Access

Serenity Style– Elisabeth spring bicycle @ Equal10

Posted in crate, Eudora3D, Events, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, poses, Second Life, shoes, shopping, skin

Tell Me

Tell me you love me, tell me you’re mine
Tell me, I know it, don’t need a sign
But I feel different know you don’t lie
But I want attention, commitment, intertwined
What are your dreams, give me the details all in-between
Just let me know ya, we can go far
Don’t turn your shoulder, get colder, keep me warm
Sweeter than love is the taste of all those promises
That pulls you in for good
Can’t get enough
Put your top moves on and run with it
Sweet talk that shit, so good

Tell Me

hair: TRUTH Serenity
head: LeLUTKA Fleur Head 2.5
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Special Edition (1.3)
skin: [theSkinnery] Monica (LeLutkaEVO)

(Yummy) Poppet Ring Collection @ C88
Seniha. Salma Body @ FaMESHedX
Eudora3D Nimueh @ FaMESHedX

pose: Gravity Poses – Smoke 5

backdrop: MINIMAL – Light Room Backdrop -3-

crate Tube Shelf – Blue
7 – crate Expression Floor Lamp
crate Pompous Pouf – Black
crate Dandelion Daybed Rug

Amataria – Home Decor “Cats”

Ariskea[Jardim] Hanging Wood Plant Decor

[ kunst ] – Glenfirstclass bottle
[ kunst ] – Scotch glass

Nutmeg. Countryside Dream Books