Posted in Chic Moda, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life

I don’t want to love no more

I learnt to grow old when I was younger
Scared of staying young
Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured
That sat atop my tongue
Knowing I’d change the worlds opinion
If they would just, listen up
But they won’t, now
I feel worthless
Maybe I should open the drawer
Burn the pages
Write poems with the ash on the floor
Pour the ink, into the sink
And watch it drain from the shore
I don’t want love no more
Though it’s the one thing I’ve been searching for
Though it’s the one thing that I miss the most
Now, I’m afraid to be alone (I’m afraid to be alone)
To Be Alone
Looking in the mirror like
Maybe I will find myself tonight
I ask for a better mind
Then tap into the site through my third eye
I had never realized
I thought I had a chosen my design
I thought I was broken all this time
I don’t want love no more
Though it’s the one thing I’ve been searching for
Though it’s the one thing that I miss the most
Now, I’m afraid to be alone

idtty empress

hair: TRUTH Alias
head: LeLUTKA Fleur Head 2.0
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: DeeTaleZ *SKINS* for LELUTKA HEADS (EVO.) – Flora

*LODE* Head Accessory – Royalty Wreath [black horse]
eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA THE EMPRESS COLLECTION #1 @ Kinky
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA THE EMPRESS COLLECTION #6 @ Kinky

.::Supernatural::. Dune Necklace
.::Supernatural::. Ebe Necklace

ChicModa // Carrie Dress @ FaMESHed

pose: – space cadet – modge podge set

The End Forest *RARE* – Sinister Night – The Bearded Guy

{anc} colorful rain (clearlysky) [wide] 1Li

Lyrium.Turning Pages – Flying Pages 2 Decor

KraftWork Once Upon a House . Scattered Papers

:::ChicChica::: Precious Rose Platinum REZZ

chicmoda sc

Posted in Bondi, Chic Moda, Collabor88, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, GenusProject, Legacy, poses, Second Life, shopping, skin, tattoo

Not Anymore

I’m having quite a bit of anxiety this morning. My mother and I are supposed to go get our hair cut today, but I’m in a great deal of pain. Plus, I’m so scared of the lackadaisical attitude that so many people have about the virus. The numbers are soaring in our area right now. I honestly don’t feel that she or I would survive given our kidney disease and other health issues. Once upon a time, I would have rushed out into the world hoping to get it and die. Not anymore. I finally want to live and I’m damn sure not ready to die for a freaking hair cut. I don’t want to go and I don’t want her to go either. The only alternative is for me to cut her hair myself and…well, I can trim my own without messing it up too much. I’m just not ready for some stranger to be in my personal bubble. I don’t think I can do it.

doux chicmoda lyrium

hair:  DOUX – Dua hairstyle @ Equal10
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001 – Mocap
eyes: –SU!– [CATWA & OMEGA HUD] Astrid Eyes
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Isla (Genus) toffee @ C88

upper tattoo: Apocalyptic – Awakening the eye black @ Belle
lower tattoo: Apocalyptic – Butterfly creeper

BONDI . The Performer Sunglasses
.random.Matter. – Kitten Collar – ‘Kitten’
SU!– Almond Nails
RichB. Halo Cuffs
(Yummy) Bestie Ring Set

ChicModa // Sky Top @ FaMESHed
ChicModa // Haisley Skirt @ FaMESHed

pose: Lyrium. Leni Idle Stands Breathing Poses @ Equal10

.PALETO. Backdrop:. Duxbury @ Equal10

Posted in breathe, Chic Moda, Collabor88, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL

How I Go Through Life

It’s no secret that I love Doux hair. I’m pretty sure I blog every hair I have of theirs (99% of the store) at least twice and no, I’m not one of their official bloggers. I dream of being one someday, but in the meantime, I shall blog them on my own dime. I love it THAT much. Over time, they have created multiple hairs that I felt fit me well, but none have grabbed me quite the way this one does. I mean, I’m a hair whore, so I’m sure I’ll be wearing the latest and greatest from other favorite hair designers, as well. However, this Carla hair is just sooooooo me, that I’m sure to be showing it off in all the style options, not to mention a variety of colors! I rarely write about the items themselves, but this is my blog and I shall write about whatever I want, whenever I want…*laughs*…I mean, that’s pretty much how I go through life, isn’t it?

doux chicmoda breathe ana poses

hair: DOUX – Carla hairstyle @ Equal10
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Maya (LeLutkaEVO) @ Uber

CHAIN – Baddie Necklace Set @ TLC
ChicModa // June Romper @ Fameshed
[BREATHE]-Kimiso Heels @ Collabor88

pose: Ana Poses – Tabriz 1 @ Arcade

Serenity Style– El Saler Beach Rocks Set @ TLC

 

Posted in Chic Moda, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative

Forget the Mistake

Forget the mistake. Remember the lesson. If you ever feel like you’ve screwed up…and let’s face it, we all have. So, regardless of whether its professional or personal, it’s important that you forgive yourself. If you feel like you’ve been wronged by someone, forgive them. Even if you can’t forget, once you forgive,  you’ll be able to move forward. Yet, when we harbor resentments, whether towards other or ourselves, we trap ourselves with a negative energy that prevents us from growing into our best possible selves.  Now, if we can focus on what we learn from the lesson rather than dwelling on the mistake we can reverse that negative energy and turn it into something positive promotes growth and a healthier mindset. We come a lot closer to reaching our potential!  In every mistake, there is a lesson for us to learn…an opportunity to focus on the positive. Mistakes are part of this journey we call life, we don’t need to take them all so seriously. So, when they do, show some compassion. Let’s change the world one attitude at a time and do our absolute best. Afterall, we’re worth it!

stealthic chicmoda luanes world

Sady is wearing:
hair:  Stealthic – Purity
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) Perky Edition (1.2.1)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe

[ rD [ Laguna Earrings @ FaMESHed
[ rD ] Laguna Necklace @ FaMESHed
(Yummy) Theia Ring Set @ Uber
ChicModa // Pamela @ FaMESHed

:LW: Bento Poses – Dreaming Wide Awake @ The Liaison Collaborative

Posted in Chic Moda, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Legacy, Lelutka, Second Life, shoes, shopping, Uber SL, [BREATHE]

Setting the Tone for Spring

One of my favorite memories from my childhood was dressing up for Easter with my mom and posing for a picture. We quit doing it after my father admitted that he was an atheist and I began to question the teachings of the church. It’s kinda funny, until he told me he didn’t believe in God, I didn’t know that was an option. I wrestled with his disbelief for many years and continued to believe well into my twenties. Eventually it was my studies in literature that enlightened me. Like many of the Christian holidays, I think the decorations are fun. I love the cheerful colors and it sets the tone for spring perfectly.

doux chicmoda breathe serenity style

Sady is wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Tainy hairstyle
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1
body:  [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe @ Uber

Tattoo “Op.7″_by GoK
*LODE* Head Accessory – Hellebore Wreath [pink dots]
ChicModa // Mirabelle Dress @ FaMESHed
[BREATHE]-Misaya Heels @ FaMESHed

pose: [ILAYA] Alcinda

Serenity Style– Greenville Easter Cups
**these are actually table top decor that I resized**

:CP: Happy Spring Hanger Group Gift

Posted in Bloom, Chic Moda, DOUX, Events, Legacy, Lelutka, Prism Events, Second Life, shopping, Tres Chic

Fit your attitude

When I finished editing this picture, I showed it to Chris (my bo’fren) and he asked if I was mad at someone. I just laughed. I’m not mad at anyone, I just love this pose from Diversion. However, I feel like there’s always someone or something deserving of a big F*CK YOU. (yes, I did just censor myself, its called growth or something like that). I just felt particularly badass in this outfit, okay? I’m sure it’s the accessories from RichB that really made me feel so badass, cuz this Blossom top from ChicModa is quite sweet, almost delicate. And we all know jeans can go in either direction. Though I must say these jeans from Little Fox fit like a glove! So, I guess you could say that its really all about accessorizing to fit your attitude….and well, most of you already know MY attitude. *grins*

doux chicmoda little fox diversion

wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Bianca hairstyle @ Tres Chic
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.1 @ Skin Fair
body:  [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Ashley (LeLutka)

RichB. Hamatis Earrings
*AvaWay* GWEN Ribbon Corset CHOKER
RichB. Skully Arm Band @ Fetish Fair
RichB. Halo Cuffs
-SU!- Almond Nails @ Anthem
ChicModa // Blossom Top @ Bloom
Little Fox – Skinny low jeans @ Access

pose: Diversion – Lunacy Poses @ Aenigma
MINIMAL – Fungsun Backdrop @ Equal10

Posted in Chic Moda, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Maitreya, Red Fish, Second Life, shoes, shopping, The Liaison Collaborative, Uber SL, [BREATHE]

How’s it feel?

Found you when your heart was broke
I filled your cup until it overflowed
Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)
I was afraid to leave you on your own (Ooh)

I said I’d catch you if you fall (Fall)
And if they laugh, then fuck ’em all (All)
And then I got you off your knees
Put you right back on your feet
Just so you could take advantage of me

Tell me, how’s it feel sittin’ up there?
Feelin’ so high, but too far away to hold me
You know I’m the one who put you up there
Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?
Thinkin’ you could live without me
Thinkin’ you could live without me
Baby, I’m the one who put you up there
I don’t know why (Yeah, I don’t know why)
Thinkin’ you could live without me
Live without me
Baby, I’m the one who put you up there
I don’t know why (I don’t know why, yeah, yeah)
~ Halsey – Without Me

ChicModa Doux Breathe LePoppycock RedFish

Sady is wearing:
hair:  DOUX – Paula hairstyle
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 1.0
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Crusties Ears
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [theSkinnery] Ginny (LeLutka&Bom) @ Uber
tattoo: RedFish – Pacha tattoo @ The Liaison Collaborative

SU!– Heart Hoop Earrings
Cae :: Eternal :: Collar @ Kinky
(Yummy) Felicity Ring Set @ Uber
Ascendant – Sugar Nails
ChicModa // Viola Dress @ FaMESHed
[BREATHE]-Sakumi Heels @ FaMESHed

pose: Le Poppycock *Bright Ideas* Prelude @ The Liaison Collaborative

for info about the background, see previous post: Impersonate a rattlesnake

Posted in Chic Moda, Collabor88, DOUX, Events, Exploration, Fashion, Glam Affair, Kustom9, Maitreya, Second Life, shopping, Uber SL

My Daughter

I could brag endlessly on my SL daughter, Chickadee Tremor, but to do so would reveal more about her real life than is my right to share. So, I will simply say that I love and adore her in both worlds. She inspired me to be a better person every single day. And to her, I say, “Thank you for being my daughter.”

coffee chicmoda and chickadee

Chickadee is wearing the same clothes as me, her hair is:
Stealthic – Brink
for more details about Chickadee’s look, see her post: Never Be Alone

Sady is wearing:
hair: DOUX – Sasha hairstyle @ Dubai Event
head: LeLUTKA Nova Head 1.0
eyeshadow: Izzie’s – LeLutka – Natural Eyeshadow berry
lipstick: Glam Affair – Lelutka HD Makeups @ Collabor88
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Charm Ears
skin: Glam Affair – Lelutka – Naya @ Kustom9
body: Maitreya Mesh Body

ChicModa // Ettie Heart Top @ Uber
RKKN. Paige Jeans StoneBlue @ Epiphany

pose: Sunrise by Space Cadet

locaiton: Native Soul

Posted in Chic Moda, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Maitreya, Second Life, The Liaison Collaborative

Dim Light

This is exactly how I feel when I’m trying to think of something to write about and have zero things on my mind. Damn meditation has me clearing that space way too much these days. Plus, I might not have much of a life. *sighs* Sometimes I just don’t have a lot to say, which is funny to me, because once upon a time people couldn’t shut me up. In fact, I got in trouble for talking in class all through school. After years of being told to shut up, I guess it finally sunk in. My last real romantic partner in SL (over two years ago…just wow) was always saddened by that. Apparently, people that have tried to dim my light have finally succeeded. I might be on a path of recovery with my mental health, but I don’t think I will ever be fully healed. I can change my outlook on life and be grateful, but the one thing I can’t seem to fully do is reignite that light. *shrugs* So goes life…at least mine, anyway.

magika chicmoda tlc

hair:  Magika – Fiona
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
ChicModa  // Bellita Crop Sweater & Pencil Skirt @ FaMESHed

pose: LePoppycock *Writer’s Block* First Lines @ The Liaison Collaborative

 

 

Posted in Chic Moda, DOUX, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Foxcity, GenusProject, Maitreya, Second Life

No Matter

”Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean that they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean that they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.” – Trent Shalton

chicmoda belle doux nerida

hair:  DOUX – Aurora hairstyle @ Dubai
head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Baby Face
skin: L’Etre – Lana Skin
body: Maitreya Mesh Body

**RE** Festive Rings Set @ FaMESHed
Ascendant – Chrome French Nails @ Access
#10~Nerido~ XMas Chest Garland(Maitreya)-Pink @ Epiphany
#11~Nerido~ XMas Belly Garland(Maitreya)-Pink @ Epiphany
#12~Nerido~ XMas R Leg Garland(Maitreya)-Pink @ Epiphany
ChicModa // Macie Dress @ Belle

FOXCITY. Mannequin Bento Pose Set

Meduza – Neon Drive – The Bearded Guy