It’s behind us

We’ve all had someone do something awful to us at some point in our lives. Whether it was something massively tragic like child abuse, being attacked, or simply betrayed by someone we believed loved us more than they did. No matter the degree or the nature of the pain, the bottom line is that someone hurt us. As humans (though some of us are more cat like) we instinctively want to know why. We want our pain to be acknowledged by the perpetrator. And last but not least, we want retribution.
I learned a lesson about “why” when I was a kid. My father had this awesome friend, Randy. I absolutely adored him and he was always making me laugh. I remember he came over one day and began saying that WHY was irrelevant. He started breaking down all my why questions. Why is the sky blue? “Drop the why and you simply have a fact. It doesn’t matter why. The point is that it IS.” Is the sky blue? Yes. Why do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Do we park in the drive way and drive on the parkway? Yes. He taught me early on that unless there was something to be gained from knowing why, there was no point in asking. So, I ask you…why did someone hurt me? Did someone hurt me? Yes. Knowing why serves no real purpose. Its not going to help me heal. It’s not going to change what happened. It’s not going to do anything, except make me ask more useless questions. I’m not an FBI profiler, I’m not going to get to the bottom of what makes a monster tick. It is simply for curiosity’s sake that I want to know why. It is not going to lesson my pain one bit.
Why do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? Well, I just talked about why questions. So, the real question is do we need perpetrators to acknowledge what they did? No. We know what they did. The only reason we should NEED an admission of guilt is if we feel as though people do not believe us. Even then, we know what happened and whether admitted or not, the perpetrator knows. As far as the rest of the world, it only matters if there are criminal charges in question. Which leads me to the retribution part. We all want to feel vindicated. We trust in the laws of our government, our religions, karma, etc. However, the truth is that many people will never pay for their bad deeds. EVER. For us to walk around holding onto some sort of resentment waiting for them to pay the price? Well, that’s a bit like walking around with stones in our pockets for absolutely no reason except to be reminded that we’re carrying around these heavy rocks just to be reminded that we’re being fools for carrying around heavy rocks.
At the very end of it all, the only thing we can change in all of this is how we go forward. Regardless of why or acknowledgment or even retribution, we can choose to carry those stones in our pockets punishing ourselves for what someone else did. OR we can empty our pockets and walk away with our heads held high knowing that whatever happened is in our past. It’s behind us…so without looking back, just bend over a bit, smack yourself on the butt and tell all that crap to kiss to your ass!

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2 comments

  • Interesting post yet I understand in part what you are trying to say I disagree ~ for me loving to research on yes why is the sky blue, or why did a criminal commit such a certain act. Great post and thought-provoking ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh I’m with you, but that’s why I said, “It is simply for curiosity’s sake that I want to know why.” Because we are not professionals it is only for curiosity, which is obviously fine. Hell, I love knowing why people do what they do. I wrote that more of a tool for the times that we will never know why. It’s not imperative that we know why.
      Thank you so much for reading and the kind words. ♥

      Liked by 1 person

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