What I’m dealing with

I’m really not even sure how much I’ve talked about my fibromyalgia. I think I mentioned it a while back and about how someone suggested that I’d become one of those people that post memes about it all the time. I do my best not to whine about it. People ask how I’m doing and I usually say I’m alright. No one really wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of living with this incredibly wretched disease. A lot of people don’t really know what it is and on that note, I took the liberty of grabbing this definition from the Mayo Clinic’s website:
Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. 

That’s putting in the plainest terms possible. It almost sounds like a list of possible side effects from one of those prescription med commercials. To give you a genuine look at what it feels like would almost be impossible. There are good days and bad, but the bad days are so awful that its often too painful to even get out of bed. If you’ve ever had the actual flu (not a bad cold that you called the flu), then you may have experienced a rather small percentage of  fibro like pain. It can be quite similar. Even that is not a fair comparison, because some days it feels like I’ve been in a car wreck and I’m covered in bruises. While other days it feels like every nerve ending I have is on fire.
There are days when I can’t sleep and there are days when that’s all I can do. There are days that I’m extremely motivated and days that I can only describe as mental vacation. It’s like my brain just checks out and I can’t focus to save my life. Then there are the mood swings. I could be in the best of mood and then a wave of pain washes over me out of nowhere. I can’t imagine anyone would handle that particularly well, but when your moods are already questionable it makes matters much worse. As a result of all this, I’ve become much more reclusive than I once was. I tend to isolate which can lead to loneliness, but at least I’m not at risk of lashing out at anyone for no rational reason. Meh, I’m in the middle of a bad wave of pain…spent most of the day in bed…so that’s why I chose to write about it now. I hope it wasn’t too much of a downer. I tried not to make it whiny, but there are times when I just want the world to understand what I’m dealing with here. *shrugs*

morning

head: Catwa Catya
body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
skin: [Glam Affair] Gabrielle @ Collabor88

KUNI / Fran
OSMIA – Penny.Velvet Outfit @ Belle

Diversion – Dreamer Poses @ Belle

[Con.] Catia Kitchen – WHITE

dust bunny . coffee machine . color change

[Rezz Room] Grouchy Cat Grumbling @ Equal10

3 comments

  • I’m sorry to hear that you suffer from this. I had an partner in SL for several years. We shared many great times together but she never shared the fact that she was dealing with fibromyalgia until after the partnership ended and she returned to RL to pursue her dreams. I hadn’t heard of it prior to that and since we’ve lost touch I still don’t know if she had been dealing with it the entire time or if there was something that set it off and couldn’t begin to guess since the nature of most any online interaction is that others generally know only what we choose to let them know about us. I have to agree with Amanda that knowing you’re dealing with this AND sharing your creativity so well is amazing. I hope that sharing your creativity as you are helps to reduce the pain and discomfort you’re burdened with. It would be a great shame if we reap the benefits of your creativity and you don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

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