What is a date?

What constitutes a date these days? I mean the word itself has so many meanings. Just look at Merriam-Webster. If you look up the word date there, you will find that the first definition that pops up is the fruit. Then they refer to the calendar kind of date. The part that confuses me is this, If you go on a date with someone, does that mean you’re dating? It doesn’t to me, but I was recently talking to a friend who claimed he had dated this person for a few days and then this person for a few days. Uhm…does hanging out with someone mean you’re dating now? Cuz I sure as hell don’t call it that. Do I need to define each and every interaction I have with people now? I mean, I’m pansexual! Do I have to tell every person that I spend time with that this is NOT dating? That we are merely hanging out. Another friend of mine said that two people were on a date, because they said so in local. However, to my knowledge they are just friends and one of them swears that she doesn’t date in Second Life. Now, I’m not stupid, I know people lie and/or change their minds. I just don’t think that’s the case here. So, can two friends not be each other’s date to a function without the rumor mill carrying it off to make it into more than it is? I’m getting nervous about even talking to anyone at this point. I realize that it’s really no one’s business, but let’s be real. People talk, rumors spread, and feelings get hurt. How do we avoid such social blunders without wearing a sign over our heads that tells the world what we are doing and what our intentions are? I have a lot of male friends that I hang out with and wouldn’t even consider “dating” and some of them have girlfriends that I like very much. This could be an issue as this is something I have struggled with for years now. I do not date guys who are partnered. Much less date someone that is partnered to a friend. Please for the love of God, share your opinions and experience on this matter with me. I am beyond confused.

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13 comments

  • A date is to me, a calendar event when you both agree in the future you plan to go out with each other. Is that dating? Nah
    “Dating” to me suggests you end up fancying the ass off a friend so you decide to pencil in the calendars more “dates”. It’s just a word people use to define ass fancying moments on regular intervals.
    Now here’s the interesting one, I’ve only ever had one “date” in pixel land and that as you know turned into its own story. So was that dating ? Or was that friendship with a view to dating. Or is dating just about setting calendar events and if you agree that’s a date?
    Wtf was the question again? Oh yeah what is a date?
    I’ve never had dates. Good lord, I just do what I want when I want.
    I’ve got a date after work with my girly friends. Afternoon tea date.
    Doesn’t answer your question does it.
    But I wanted 5 minutes to look away from work screen.
    My pleasure 😂

    Liked by 3 people

  • For me, I think “dating” implies that you are looking for someone that you may want to start a relationship with. That could mean you are dating more than one person as you have to allow time to get to know the people you are dating. Casual dating may then turn into dating exclusively…meaning you have found one person that you want to move your casual relationship forward to a more serious one….with just that person. If you are friends and not looking for anything beyond that, then you are just “hanging out” and all parties should be aware that it’s just a friendship. That should be made perfectly clear so that one party is not hoping for something that is not there. There you have my 2 cents! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  • I like Victoria’s descriptions in the first line there. Dating someone where it’s almost unspoken that you want it to develop into a relationship. As you know I’m dating atm…we’re exclusively dating, so we’re not talking to, seeing or chatting to anyone else and we’re just getting to know each other. It’s important though that both people are on the same wavelength and have the same understanding. Hanging out, to me, implies no restriction or exclusivity on seeing other people to me.

    Liked by 3 people

  • I think in Second Life, where you have so many different cultures and their idea of dating may be different, you definitely need to make sure you have the same understanding on dating and hanging out. Today dating is either exclusive or not — I have girlfriend who say as long as they’re still single, they will date whoever they want any day of the week and there are others who will only date one person at a time. I wouldn’t be able to keep up!

    Liked by 1 person

  • A date is just a calendar event. So if humans want to call it something else then it becomes confused communication hence our difficulties to convey our feelings, emotions and intentions. I guess that’s why I prefer to be alone and there’s no misunderstanding…

    Liked by 1 person

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