A friend of mine admitted something rather alarming to me recently. She said that before she got to know me, she was intimidated, almost afraid of me. *laughs* I kinda like the idea that people are afraid of me, but to be fair, I’m not sure why they would be unless its just my name. *laughs* On the other hand, my closest friends seem to forget my name and are shocked when I say awful things. The only way my name could have been more accurate would have been to call myself, “Filterless.” I’m true to myself and I don’t put on airs to impress other people. That can work for me and against me.
I think what happens is that people say they want the truth, but sometimes the truth isn’t always beautiful. Thus, many people find my honesty refreshing, while others find it off putting. It has taken my mother ages to accept that this is just who I am. She spent most of my life worrying about how I made her look. Honestly, I don’t think people were even thinking about her nearly as much as she thought they did.
While I am very selective about those I get close to, I am no one to be afraid of…well, unless you piss me off. Even then, its just a lot of words you’ll get from me, some of it might be brutal, I suppose, but at the same time, I’m not really that confrontational. I just walk away from people and don’t look back. I’ve been that way my entire life. I’m not going to kiss anyone’s ass in the hopes they’ll be my “friend.” We either are or we aren’t, time will tell. Disagreements might come up, but if we can’t approach them like adults then really, what kind of friendship did we have? And if you dismiss my friendship without explaining why, then again, I know that I meant nothing to you from the beginning and vice versa.
Your maturity really shows AFTER a friendship ends. Do you run about talking shit about them? Do you just dismiss it and let it go? Do you pester someone for answers? Do you insult them in hopes to get a reaction? I’m curious how other people handle things like this and I will definitely be writing more about this in the future.
pose w/props: Le Poppycock *Versions of April* Fair Flora