Okay, so this photo is not scary, but I just happened to be thinking about how at Christmas time we often talk of our favorite things. Since its Halloween Season, (yes, it is a damn season!) that I would talk about a few of the scariest things. They’re scary to me at least. Now, if you are easily offended, please stop reading right now, because this long ass post is my list. It is not aimed at YOU personally, it is just my feelings about things I don’t like and dread the very idea of having to suffer through.
First off, weddings, I hate them. They bore me to tears and fear things make me more uncomfortable than receiving an invitation to watch two people essentially show off how much money they’ve wasted to show off that their boring ceremony. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I can’t, cuz I’m not. That’s how I feel and I’m not going to apologize for it. No offense, if you love weddings, but I don’t.
Family reunions are another one, at least with my family. I don’t care for most of the people in my family and if I wanted to talk to them or spend time around them, I would. I don’t talk to them for a reason. The idea of being forced to endure them for an entire day, much less a weekend makes me wanna puke and I hate puking!
Children, babies actually, scare the crap out of me. They are so tiny and fragile…and that god awful crying. Ugh. I’d rather face a bear. I know, I’m not supposed to feel that way as a woman, but I do. However, I will say that I love kids that are between 2-5…they are hilarious and brutally honest. So, the fact that I love them during their terrible twos and terrorist threes, should balance out how I feel about babies.
Showers! Not the bathing kind, but the baby showers and wedding showers are the worst. First of all, I never had kids and its damn sure too late for that now. So, they’ve always been a source of sorrow and resentment for me. Shopping for baby showers is impossible and wedding showers? No. Just no. Let’s have a bachelorette party….sure, but a shower? C’mon! Just stop already….you want gifts and a party before you get married and then again at the reception? Gimme a damn break!
Church, yes, I said it. Do remember that I’m an atheist and the idea of sitting on some hard ass bench for over an hour listening to some boring ass person go on and on about something I don’t even believe in…and don’t get me started on the people that catch the spirit/holy ghost…whatever…and speaking in tongues? *growls* PUHLEASE!
Clowns. That’s a story for another time. Its very personal and I assure you its not a phobia. It’s a trigger and I am not discussing in this post. Let’s just say they will always freak me out to some degree.
I also don’t like things that fly, though I wish I could. Birds and bugs…nope. Gotta go!
Kess Crystal, when this woman gets mad…she is HARSH AF! So, do yourself a favor and stay on her good side. Not to mention if you piss her off, you’ll be dealing with the wrath of the Cunt Cult, as well. So, be nice to this woman, because not only does she deserve the best life has to offer…she will slice and dice you with her words in ways you never dreamed possible.
RubyStarlight Writer, because she’s too much like me and I worry constantly that one day we’re going to butt heads so badly that the entire world might explode. She’s another one that you don’t want to piss off, cuz this woman is smart af and will make you feel like the dumbest mf’r to ever walk the earth.
Now, I’m mostly kidding about my friends, Kess and Ruby. I’m mostly suggesting that YOU should be afraid of them. I love them and all my friends to pieces…*hides her knife*