Posted in Catwa, Events, FaMESHed, Fashion, Maitreya, Pose Fair, Second Life, Uber SL

MY Pain

I rarely talk to anyone about my fibromyalgia, because the day I was diagnosed I told a friend of mine and she made a snide remark about how I would probably complain about it all over Facebook, because that’s what people with fibromyalgia do. I’m pretty sure she was joking, but it struck a nerve and I’ve kept pretty quiet about it ever since. I get it, no one wants to hear someone complain about being in constant pain. We all come to SL to escape our worries in the real world and I certainly don’t want to bring anyone down. Besides, complaining about it isn’t going to make it better and there’s certainly nothing my friends in a virtual world could do to lessen the pain.
The thing is, because of her response that day…I’ve hardly talked about it at all…to anyone, except to say I have it, along with a list of other health issues that no one really wants to hear about. So, why am I bringing it up now? Well, its been really bad lately and unless you have it…you cannot possibly begin to understand it. I was actually somewhat relieved when I received my diagnosis, because I thought I was going crazy. It fucks with me on every level. It makes me so tired at times, but I can’t get comfortable…so I can’t sleep…so I get grouchy…so I isolate, because I don’t want to lash out at others. The best way I can explain the pain, is to compare it to the flu….the actual flu, not a common fucking cold that people call the flu to make it sound more legit. Or waking up the day after a car accident. It affects everything from sleep, mobility, moods, and memory. Stress and weather are major triggers. That’s why I’ve been writing about letting go of toxic people and toxic situations, because I simply can’t handle the stress.
As many times as I’ve tried, it is impossible to describe all of the ways it hurts. However, I did find a great website that listed some metaphors that might help someone without it gain just a teensy bit of insight. As I read through the list my inner voice was screaming, “Yes, EXACTLY!” Of course, I linked to the work metaphors for anyone who cares. I really don’t expect anyone to really read it.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. In fact, I’d rather not talk about it other than to get it out right here and now. It is what it is, but maybe just maybe the people close to me will understand why I say some of the things I say. Why I go days without really talking to anyone…why there are days that its all I can do to drag my ass out of bed. The older I get the worse it gets, too. Fun fact: There’s no cure. There are a variety of things that they recommend for treatment, but nothing works completely. Meh, no wonder no one wants to hear about this crap…I’m getting on my own nerves just writing about it. Thank God for retail therapy.

MY Pain

hair:   Sintiklia – Hair Xia
head: CATWA HEAD Lona
lipstick: Ascendant – Cotton Candy Lipstick
body: Maitreya Mesh Body
skin: Glam Affair – Willow – Jamaica (*new* @ Uber)

.BF. Harness Jewellery Silver (*new* @ FaMESHed)
.BF. Lary Romper Red Metalic (*new* @ FaMESHed)

pose: ~X.T.C~ Have a Break-3 (*new* @ Pose Fair)
MINIMAL – Bionic Building *4*

3 thoughts on “MY Pain

  1. HEY a dear friend of mine has fibro and some days she says it just kicks her azz so some days you do need to have to say something btw have never thought you to be a whiney whiney person like umm some I won’t mention but am sure everyone deserves to be heard and it sux to hear you have that condition and thats not pity but compassion as like someone who once had shingles for almost 4 months pain is pain and fuck whoever does not have compassion for anyone that is diagnosed with fibro or any other type of condition like that ~ giving you big hugzz ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey I know full well how you feel. It affects you in so many ways and if asked “what’s wrong” the answer is so many things at once.
    And I am similar that for the past 4.5 years never mentioned it till recently.
    It’s not something that goes away and for some of us it becomes more chronic. For me I feel 100 on most days and in other days my mood can be affected. In other days I stare straight through you as my mind becomes like a dense fog. Hence I tend to work like a Trojan with anything I do. I force myself because the minute I truly relax I can’t cope and feel scared I may not get back on the horse so to speak.
    Thing is more people need to know to maybe understand more.
    Heck before they pinpointed me I thought it was all a bunch of BS. X

    Liked by 1 person

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