I use songs in my blogs a lot. Sometimes its because I can’t find the words to say what I’m feeling, but some incredible musician has them already in a song. So, I borrow their words and talents to help express myself. Today, I’m going to share a song that means a great deal to me. It reminds me of a special person from my past. He was an amazing individual and loved me like no one else I’ve ever known. We couldn’t make it work, because his ignorance and stupidity drove me insane. I had no patience for it, but at the end of the day being in his arms was home. There was a passion in our relationship that can never be replicated. I destroyed him and now he’s dead. I will never forgive myself for what I did to him.
The song is Something I Can Never Have (still) by Nine Inch Nails. Mind you, this is the same man that made me hate AC/DC. Though now that he’s gone, for some reason, I tend to be more open to the older songs, especially the ones he played regularly on his electric guitar. Isn’t it strange how people can leave such a mark in our lives? I always thought we’d cross paths again someday, but it never happened. The last time I saw him was a confrontation at a gas station…he cried from the pain….I cried from the regret. I was a different person then. I was reckless and self-centered. Even with all his issues, for he was far from perfect, he did not deserve what I did to him. I will live with that shame for the rest of my life.
pose by Del May