“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
Wow, it has been quite a while since I started post with a quote. Of course, one is never quite sure what they will find when they go to read my blog. Perhaps a song, a story, a poem, a rant, or like today… some thoughts with a hopefully a sprinkle of wisdom. This particular quote hits home, because I look back at my life and see exactly where fear of success derailed my life over and over again. Failure? Nah, I’m good at that. My entire childhood was an education on how I would never be good enough for more than pleasing a man. My mother taught me to surrender to a man’s will. She was old fashioned and believed in standing by even the most monstrous of men. She preferred the comfort of denial that lies created for her. Looking back, I can see so clearly that she’s never been a fan of truth. Even the simplest of stories are exaggerated for no other reason that her apparent allergy to honesty. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I’d be lost without her, but that doesn’t make her perfect. My father on the other hand, perversely manipulative and abusive in every sense of the word. Though he told me repeatedly I’d be a whore and a slut in high school, I rarely dated at all and did not lose my virginity until I was 19. Years later when I proudly told him that he was wrong and how I had waited, he smirked and said that was his plan all along. For he knew I was defiant by nature and would prove him wrong. I know now, that was simply more of his manipulation. I think fewer things brought him more joy than messing with my head.
You may be wondering, what all of this has to do with the quote. It’s simple really. If we are taught to fear everything…if we are sheltered from the truth…fear will easily control our life and limit us in ways we never imagined until it is genuinely too late. Living behind a closed door or in the shadows can be so comforting. We cannot get burned by a light we never see, but the truth is in the light. Until we release ourselves from the shadows of fears, both real and imagined, we can never be free. For it is the truth that sets us free and that truth does not hide in the dark, it is us that choose to stay in the dark.
I have often said that I would rather be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie. The older I get the more I stand by that statement. Do not be afraid of the light just because you outgrew your fear of the dark.