What kind of hell…

I’m in an ungodly amount of pain that is shooting through my hip, down my right leg and up my back. I have no idea what it is, but I suspect I need a hip replacement or I have a broken pelvis. Surprisingly, this is one of those things that I’d walk around with not knowing how bad it is until a doctor tells me. That’s how it was with my knees. I knew they hurt like hell, but I had no idea how bad they were until a doctor told me. He was actually surprised that I was still walking. However, the pain I’m experiencing now usually happens while I’m sleeping and it wakes me up in an awful state. I involuntarily scream out in pain, which stirs the animals, and has twice woken up my mother. On top of that, I seem to be stuck in this bizarre nightmare repeat. It’s like having a movie on repeat. I keep trying to change the outcome, but I only alter the path to the ending which segues perfectly back to the beginning. To make matters worse, the dream has Jason Momoa in it, but he’s absolutely terrifying! What kind of hell am I in?

wearing:
hair: Tableau Vivant // Cotton Candy @ C88
head: LeLUTKA Erin Head
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [Glam Affair] Beatriz Skin [Lelutka] @ C88

lashes: [POUT!] Kelly – Eye lash collection @ Belle
eyes: [Heaux] Poppy Eyes – Essentials #5
ears: ^^Swallow^^ Charm Ears

eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA PARTY MONSTA COLLECTION #3 @ ShinyShabby
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA PARTY MONSTA COLLECTION #8 @ ShinyShabby

LODE Head Accessory – Pansy [white] @ ShinyShabby
RUST REPUBLIC[Meilleure] @ Belle
REIGN.- BETTY SOCKS

pose: Diversion – Dangling – Poses

MINIMAL – Forever Backdrop -Dark Feeling @ @ Equal10

{vespertine} little prince carousel – moonwalk

CELESTE – Animated Glitter

Butterfly

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It’s easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly, oh
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

idtty rezz room reign lw burrow

hair: TRUTH Delicate
head: LeLUTKA Lake Head 1.2
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Maya (LeLutkaEVO) @ Uber

[Heaux] Kitten Eyes @ SaNaRae
eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA  LOVE SPELL COLLECTION #2 (Happy Weekend May 29-31)
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA LOVE SPELL COLLECTION #10 (Happy Weekend May 29-31)

*LODE* Head Accessory – Hellebore Crown [white]
(Yummy) Chained Ring Set @ Uber

.miss chelsea. Ryan Top @ Uber
SPIRIT – Osoka shorts @ Uber
REIGN.- FLUFFEH FLIP FLOPS

[Rezz Room] Shiba Inu Puppy Animesh @ Uber

.peaches. Beachin’ Bag Clutter – Dotted for FLF May 29, 2020

pose: :LW Bento Poses – Miracles (comes with butterfly)

location: Burrow Coffee & Whiskey Co

Better Late Than Never

Every year there’s a Second Life challenge to do a yearbook photo and I’ve never participated. High school was not the best of times for me. I could have a do over, I know I would’ve done things very differently. I suppose that’s true for most of us. Anyway, whenever people do the yearbook photo challenge I can’t help but giggle, because I hated our senior yearbook photos. The first ice school I went to, gave an option to do the standard senior photo with the velvet crap draped off shoulder for girls/tuxedo for boys OR you could pay for the deluxe package to have outdoor shots that reflected your personal style. However, life happened and we moved. So, the high school I ended up graduating from didn’t offer that. They only did the standard velvet crap. That pretty much summed up my high school years. Today when I shot this picture, I giggled at how long it took me to finally take the kind of picture I always wanted for my real life senior yearbook photo. Better late than never, I suppose…even if its virtual.

stealthic vinyl space cadet heaux idtty

hair: Stealthic – Chiffon
head: LeLUTKA Erin Head 1.2
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Maya (LeLutkaEVO) @ Uber

[Heaux] Kitten Eyes @ SaNaRae
eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA FRENCH KISS #2 @ Kinky 
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA FRENCH KISS #6 @ Kinky

[ rD ] – Madurai Set @ Belle
***earrings & necklace***
VINYL – Salt Cami @ Uber
VINYL – Chica Denim Skirt @ Uber

pose: – space cadet – furutsu

Ashes of Eden

Will the faithful be rewarded
When we come to the end
Will I miss the final warning
From the lie that I have lived
Is there anybody calling
I can see the soul within
And I am not worthy
I am not worthy of this
Are you with me after all
Why can’t I hear you
Are you with me through it all
Then why can’t I feel you
Stay with me, don’t let me go
Because there’s nothing left at all
Stay with me, don’t let me go
Until the Ashes of Eden fall
~ Breaking Benjamin – Ashes of Eden

stealthic blueberry bay

hair: Stealthic – Vigil
head: LeLUTKA Erin Head 1.2
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Maya (LeLutkaEVO) @ Uber

Blueberry – In Control – Bodysuit

pose: :oushk – Snake Charmer – #2 – Black (comes with snake)

location: The Bay

I’m Drowing

You keep dreaming and dark scheming
Yeah, you do
You’re a poison and I know that is the truth
All my friends think you’re vicious
And they say you’re suspicious
You keep dreaming and dark scheming
Yeah, you doI feel like I’m drowning
I’m drowning
You’re holding me down and
Holding me down
You’re killing me slow
So slow, oh-no
I feel like I’m drowning
I’m drowningYou’re so plastic and that’s tragic
Just for you
I don’t know what the hell you gonna do
When your looks start depleting
And your friends all start leaving
You’re so plastic and that’s tragic
Just for you
~ Two Feet – I Feel Like I’m Drowning

Stealthic – Vigil

Cynful Attitute Dress @ Uber
[BREATHE]-Setoko Heels @ Uber

pose: space cadet – smokinbabe

Feels like too much

The last few days have been a complete whirlwind of nightmares for myself and a couple of my closest friends. We’ve all had absolutely maddening situations happening to us in RL. We’ve all be worried sick about each other while dealing with our individual crisises. Sometimes it just all feels like too much. So, I’m keeping this short and sweet, wishing I could slip into that beautiful Nutmeg tub and soak away my problems.

Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Complete Set @ Shiny Shabby
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Liquid Soap
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Chair w/Pillow White Adult
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Drying Rack / 1
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Mirror Blue / 1
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Clock White
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Liquid Soap Olive
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Washbasin w/Towel Texture Option
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Bar of Soap / 2
Nutmeg. Tidy Pastels Woven Bag Complete Set Bonus Item

Nutmeg. Attic Hideout Painting_Bonus Item
Nutmeg. Attic Hideout Plated Pink Branch
Nutmeg. Dacha Hanging Candle Bucket
Nutmeg. Dacha Old Wooden Chest
Nutmeg. Dacha Metal Bathtub wo/Shower
Nutmeg. Bucolic Console Table
Nutmeg. Old Oriental Rug4_Bonus Item
Nutmeg. Countryside Dream Chandelier White / Long
Nutmeg. Flower Cherub Statue Bonus Item

Serenity Style– El patio Building Scene @ Uber

Serenity Style– Rothschild Bathroom Mirror

(Fundati) Ivy Leaves

[Rezz Room] Shiba Inu Puppy Animesh @ Uber

I need healing

Wish I could’ve found the words to say
Wish I could’ve given what you gave
‘Cause we could’ve loved, we could’ve been something
But not if I’m brokenAnd I know that you love me but I don’t think I’m ready
Found me in a bottle
Oh, I thought I needed someone I could run to
Oh, run to, oh
But I need healing
I need healing
~ Arlissa – Healing


hair: tram J0513b hair @ Uber
head: LeLUTKA Erin Head
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe (LeLutkaEVO)

lashes: [POUT!] Kelly – Eye lash collection @ Belle
eyes: [Heaux] Brighton Eyes @ N21

eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA ANGEL DUST #5
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA ANGEL DUST #8

LODE Head Accessory – Pansy [blue] @ ShinyShabby
[Cosmic Dust]  – Dakota Dress @ Kustom9

pose: Diversion  – Blossom – Poses @ Belle

Girl on Fire

She’s just a girl, and she’s on fire
Hotter than a fantasy, longer like a highway
She’s living in a world, and it’s on fire
Feeling the catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away
Oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she’s burning it down
Oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she’s not backing down
This girl is on fire
~ Alicia Keys – Girl on Fire


hair: TRUTH Delicate
head: LeLUTKA Erin Head
body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f) (1.2)
skin: [theSkinnery] Signe (LeLutkaEVO)

lashes: [POUT!] Kelly – Eye lash collection @ Belle
eyes: [Heaux] Poppy Eyes – Darks FLF May 22, 2020

eyeshadow: IDTTY FACES – LELELUTKA YOU WISH COLLECTION #4 @ Fetish Fair
lipstick: IDTTY FACES – LELUTKA YOU WISH COLLECTION #9 @ Fetish Fair

[Aleutia] Anya Top @ Belle

pose: space cadet – nasa’s fake set